C24- Anxiety and Losing Hope

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Rose POV

After that last meeting with the boys, I felt both relieved and anxious. On one hand, it felt good to be able to tell someone else what I had been through. They had told me about themselves, things you wouldn't find in any fan site or Wikipedia page, so it really wasn't fair that I was keeping secrets. Of course, the things to reveal were of different magnitudes and topics than each other, but they were important to each of us. I just had to get over my fear of trusting people. And the feeling that I got after telling them... it felt so nice. They didn't seem to judge me, and while they did appear to be more cautious around me, I think they were just worried about doing something to physically hurt me. Which was completely understandable, though I did have to tell them a few times that I wasn't made of tissue paper.

On the other hand, it did make me anxious. How much of my past could they take before it became too much for them... until they no longer saw me, but a victim? I was scared of that. And even though they didn't appear to judge me, and I was quite positive that they didn't, that devil on my shoulder kept telling me that you never really know how a person is on the inside. That bastard voice kept telling me that it's not possible for Angie to be the only person like that in the entire world—which of course was true. But it wasn't likely that the boys were like that. And yet...

Almost a week had passed after that revelatory day. The boys had continued to text me, though it was in short bursts due to their schedule. Yoongi was able to go back to his routine of sleeping at my house Saturday morning, though it was cut short. He woke up at lunch again, but afterwards, instead of us watching a movie, he asked if he could work on his music while I worked on my writing. It worked out really well. He had brought his own laptop and I let him use my desk since it would be harder for him to use that couch than it would for me. And for me, it felt kind of nice to lay back on the couch while I typed. I knew I shouldn't make a habit of it, though, because it would be too tempting to just sit back and watch TV. Yoongi had to leave before dinner to go to a schedule. I still wore the necklace he gave me every day.

On Sunday, I received a text from Namjoon. That, in and of itself, was not unusual, but the text was strange: "Are you busy? Can I call you when you're not busy?". I messaged him back to let him know to call me whenever. I jumped when me phone rang a few seconds later. Is something wrong?

I answered the phone, "Hey, Namjoon. Is everything ok?"

"Hey, y-yeah. Everything's good... um... did you—ah, because I called you back so quickly. Right." It sounded almost like Namjoon was talking to himself rather than me.

"Are you sure you're okay? You sound a little anxious."

"Huh? No. I mean, yes I'm sure. Everything's fine." He's acting a bit off... "I was just wondering what you were doing—I mean if you're going to be busy... in—on Saturday. In six weeks."

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