Dressed In Black

Why are you here?

I got to Zak's just as it had started raining. I ran up to the front door and unlocked it with my key, bolting into the living room, where I suspected Zak would be, and he stood up in surprise. I had already started crying again, and he opened his arms seeing the expression on my face. I crashed into him and he wrapped his arms around me.

"Alli, what's going on? Are you okay?" I fought through my sobbing to respond.

"We fought. And he broke up with me." I buried myself in his chest.

"He broke up with you? That's fucking idiotic." I wiped my hand over my face to try to calm down. He sat down on the couch with me. "What did you fight over?"

"You know. He saw my bruises, I told him what happened during the lockdown, and he lost it on me. We both said mean things to each other, and I left."

"He shouldn't be fighting with you over something that happened to you. He should be making sure that you're okay. That's not your fault."

"I know, but you don't have to say all that. I know I'm a shitty girlfriend. According to him I don't empathize nearly enough, I'm always away from home, half of my life is keeping things from him when I'm not around, and I'm crazy and self destructive and have no idea how to take control of my own li-"

"Alli, stop that. You are an amazing woman, and there is nothing wrong with you. He's an idiot for losing the best lady he's ever going to get."

"Zak please."

"Look at me. You always say you know when I'm faking. Do I look like I'm faking?"

He looked sad and angry. But I could tell that he meant absolutely everything that he'd said. I tried to calm down, and change the subject, not wanting to linger on my own life for too long.

"Did you talk to Kelley?"

"Yeah. She took it okay, which is good. She cried, but she understood that it's hard for me to be here for her, and I don't want to hurt her more later."

"I'm sorry."

"Its okay. She said she'd talk to me again when she's ready to. "

I laid my head down on his shoulder.

"You are the best person I've ever had in my life."

"You're the best in mine." We sat there for a little while, just quietly. Zak cleared his throat and piped up.

"It's late, the guest room is clean and of course there's clothes in there for you if you're ready to go to bed." I nodded my head and followed him upstairs.

"Goodnight."

"Goodnight Alli. I'll see you tomorrow."

"You too." I shut the door and changed into one of Zak's shirts he had in here for me. I laid down in bed and tried to shut my brain off. This sucked. Really fucking bad. When I came home from the investigation after a day long drive, I really didn't expect any of this shit.

After an hour of tossing and turning, I decided sleep probably wasn't going to happen if I kept in my own head. I would try my luck to see if Zak was still awake so we could talk or at least watch TV for a bit, maybe I'd fall asleep.

"Knock knock" I said, as I did the same to the door.

"Come in Als." i opened the door to see him laying on top of his sheets, shirtless, trying to read some book. He looked over to me as I came in and saw my once again tear streaked face.

"Hey, hey, are you alright?" he shifted so he was sitting.

"Not particularly, I can't sleep. I.. I don't really want to be alone."