Dressed In Black

Chapter 13

I couldn't do this. I couldn't be a mother, not to mention that it would have to have been my ex's. Not enough time had passed between Zak and I having sex to now for it to have been his and for me to be having symptoms.

I started crying somewhere around 9:30, when I heard a knock on my door, and then a deep, heavy voice afterward.

"Alli, let me in. I can hear you and I want to talk."

"Please go away." I couldn't bear this right now. I didn't want to have this conversation. I didn't even know if it was true yet, but if it was... everything was over. My job, anything with Zak, my happiness not being with Daniel. Everything.

"Open up."

"No."

"Fine. Knock knock." He announced, as he swung the door open.

I looked up from my position on the bathroom floor, tears streaming down my face and only in a loosely tied robe. He tucked away a key card and crouched down beside me.



"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No."

"Okay. We don't have to. I am sorry, though." He sat down on the floor and leaned up against the wall, pulling me closer to him to rest my head on his shoulder. I was silent, but I couldn't help but keep crying. My thoughts were pounding in my brain, a million a minute, pushing for my mouth. He had come in to talk about what happened the night before, but that wasn't even on my mind.

I hugged him close to me and sniffled. This is what I wanted. Us. Friendship-- best friendship- was amazing. But I wanted more.

"I'd kiss you but I think you just threw up."

"I did. Sorry."

"It's okay. Later, alright?"

"Yeah. I'm not really feeling well right now." Good, play it off like you're sick.

"Still game for filming today?"

"I'll push through. I don't want to miss anything."

He helped me up.

"We've gotta go in about an hour, I'll see you soon." I nodded and closed the door behind him.

I just had to get through this day without getting too upset. When we got back tonight I could let it out. I wasn't going to fuck up this investigation for Zak by pushing this all on him, I'd wait until the day after next, when we were done with all the filming we had.

It was going to be a long two days.

__

Zak's POV

I couldn't help but notice how detached Allison seemed. I knew that she was feeling sick, and that she was still mad at me for the previous night, but something else was wrong. I had known her long enough to know that much.

We were going to talk tonight, and I was going to try to get it out of her. It wasn't good for her to be acting this way, and it worried me. I didn't want to see her like this, especially when I knew that I had been the cause of it. I'd apologize in the morning, but not good enough; She needed to hear the rest.

The guys were fucking around when we got to location and were waiting for the people we were interviewing to show up. Normally she would be right in there, climbing on Aaron or joking around and insulting them. She hadn't left the passenger seat of the van. She'd been messing around on her phone, swinging her legs. I debated going over there, but didn't want to draw attention. I was sure she didn't want the others to know something was up.

"Hey Allison, join in the fun! We were just making fun of how much Star Wars shit Aaron has." Billy shouted to her, trying to get her to participate.

She looked up and smiled, but it was as fake as any I'd ever seen.

"He probably has more props than the prop guys from the actual movies." She piped up, laughing a little after.

I smiled at her joke, and the guys seemed satisfied with her input, leaving her alone. She went back to whatever she was doing. I just hoped she could get through the day. Selfishly, I knew we needed to get this filmed as we'd already postponed.

She must've seen me staring at her, because she hopped out and put her phone in her pocket.

"Are you waiting on me for something?"

"No, we have to wait for the others to get here."

"Okay, then stop staring at me. It's weird." she walked past me. Her tone was a little bitter, but I didn't blame her. I had been a dick to her. Her phone started ringing, and she was being really quiet, like she didn't want anyone to hear her. She walked far enough away that I couldn't hear what she was saying, but I could see the way that she was saying it.

Yelling. Stressed. Her hands were flying around.

God, this girl was going to be the death of me.

____

Allison's POV

I walked away from the group to answer the call I'd been waiting for since the morning. I texted her the second I started freaking out.

"Lily, I don't fucking know what to do."

"Alli, you need to calm down." Oh god.

"Don't tell me--"

"Sweetheart, I'm sorry but you do. You're stressing out over this and you don't even know if you are yet. Just get through the investigation, take a test, and everything will be fine."

"But what if it's not? What if--" I held back so I didn't start crying again. "What if Zak doesn't want anything to do with me after? What if Daniel wants be together again? I'm going to lose my job, I'm going to lose my best friend, and I'm going to have to go back. I don't want to go back Lilyanne."

"Stop thinking about all that shit! There's no way that Zak would ever leave you hanging like that. And if so, then everything you think you guys have is nothing. And it's not nothing, okay? Don't let it get to you like this, stop thinking about what might happen and stay present in what you're doing right now. Cross the bridge when you get to it darling." I sighed, knowing she was right. There was nothing I could do about it right this second, and it was doing me no good to worry.

"I guess you're right. I'm just nervous, and really scared."

"I know. But you'll be okay, alright?"

"Alright. Thank you."

"You're welcome. Call me when you know."

"I will."

Zak was still staring at me. I only hoped that he hadn't heard me. I walked back over and tried to put on a smiling face, ignoring everything raging inside my brain. He opened his mouth to speak, but the people we were waiting to interview showed up.

"Later." I said, nodding to him. He nodded back and walked to where they were.

Me? I ran to go throw up.