Dressed In Black

Up in Smoke

Zak's POV

I closed the door behind me after taking care of Allison, sitting down in the passengers seat beside Bacon and huffing.

"Your girl okay? She seems off, brother." He asked. I shook my head in annoyance at the topic being brought up.

"We're not really talking right now. So she's not my girl." I nearly spat, not wanting to talk about this. I didn't need it spiraling into a crew issue while we were here to work, and I was still incredibly mad at her.

"...Oh. Sorry." He said, pausing for a minute and then adding, "What'd you do?" I sat up straight, taken aback at his assumption.

"Excuse me? Why would I have had to have done something to her?"

"Dude. Don't get me wrong, you're one of my closest friends but Alli is a good girl. I watch out for her too."

"Bacon, drop it." I warned.

"Fine bro. But I think it's stupid." He offered.

"I didn't ask." I bit back.

He shook his head and sighed, and I pulled the bill of my hat down to keep the sun out of my eyes, feigning sleep to avoid more conversation.

--
Allison's POV

When we finally got to the hotel, I hurried to my room, dragging my heavy ass suitcase close behind me. I didn't want to see or interact with Zak until I absolutley had to.

We had to work the next day, filming stuff on location and then doing the lockdown the next night and going home. That meant about three days guaranteed that I had to spend miserable. I knew that I had fucked up but God, this was a lot to handle. I was starting to get angry at the way he was talking to me, as well. We'd gotten into spats before, but the bullshit was toned way down and we'd always stayed close. I guess something like this was a little different, though.

You left your shit in the RV. Either get it or you're going without it.- Z

You could just bring it to me.- A

I'm already upstairs. Don't be difficult.- Z

"Dick." I huffed, walking downstairs to get my purse that I guess I'd left. I was fuming, not paying enough attention to where I was walking as I shot off a few annoyed texts to Lilyanne, and accidentally ran into someone. I bounced back and he caught me from falling back, pulling my wrist up. I stopped freaking and feeling so bad when I saw that it was just Aaron.

"Alli, that's the second time. Gotta pay attention girly." He laughed and hugged me. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, fine. Sorry about that. " I tried to push a smile but it probably looked as fake as it felt. He shook his head and out his arm around my shoulders.

"You're lying. Where are you going?"

"Outside. I left some of my stuff in the RV."

"I'll come with." He smiled and walked with me through the darkened parking lot in silence.

I rummaged through the back room to find my purse, finally securing it. I walked out down the stairs and shut the door behind me, pulling my pack of cigarettes out of the bag and lighting one quickly. Aaron stared at me bug eyed.

"Smoking again?" He sounded bewildered. It was kind of annoying.

"That's what it looks like, yeah?"

"Does Zak know?" Zak hated smoking. He used to harass me all the time which is what finally got me to quit back then. He harassed Bacon about it all the time too.

"No. You don't need to tell him either." I quietly but sternly replied.

"How does he not know? You two live together." I shut up and turned away, puffing instead of answering. Aaron went to speak again but I held my hand up.

"I don't want to talk about this right now. You can go in, we'll catch up later?" I said, dragging away on my cigarette, pulling out another for when it was finished. Aaron reluctantly nodded and walked back to the hotel while I sat on the curb and destroyed my lungs.

When I went back in, I resolved to just go to my room and hole up there until it was time to work. At least that way I wouldn't have to deal with anymore uncomfortable situations for the rest of the night.

I hung out in my room for a while trying to find something to watch on the shitty cable stations. Anything to keep my mind off of the minibar that had been tempting me since I'd arrived. A banging on my door caused me to jump nearly out of my skin.

"OPEN THE DOOR!" Zak yelled to me from the other side and I gulped. He was angry, and for what? It was really a toss up at this point. I knew he was mad, but so was I, and I wasn't treating him like a piece of shit.

I got up to answer, as it seemed he was just going to keep banging until I did. When I opened the door, he pushed past me, shoving my shoulder and entering the room.

"Um... hello?" I said, closing the door behind him as he rummaged through my stuff with no words to me.

"What are you doing?" I crossed my arms and watched as he opened my purse, and finding what he was looking for, turning toward me.

"What the fuck are you doing with these?" Zak asked, aggressively. I looked to his hand to see him holding my half empty pack of cigarettes. I didn't answer. I had no answer. Aaron must've ratted me out anyway.

"You stopped smoking years ago, why the fuck are you starting back now? Over a fight?"

"It doesn't matter." I resigned.

"It doesn't matter? Allison, you're acting like a moody fucking teenager, and that's something that I'm not going to deal with. So either figure yourself out or we're going to have to have a serious discussion about what it means for you to be a part of this team." He was standing over me now, spitting his words at me, his eyes burning. I was scared now, and tears welled in my eyes as I felt the sting that his words caused. He had never treated me that way. The next thing I heard was a loud smack as the palm of my hand connected with his face.

"Never, ever, stand over me like that again. Fuck off and get out." I struggled to spit back. I didn't mean to hit him but I was just...so angry. Nothing was fair. I was struggling enough without the beratement and threat of losing my job, the one thing I still had. That I was counting on.

He looked at me with hurt and walked out, tossing the pack into the trash and slamming the door behind him. Once again, I was left in a hotel room, alone and miserable, hurting the one that I love. My thoughts tortured me. 

Why are you such a fuck up? Why did we do this?

It was getting worse every passing second. The year was swiftly diving into being my worst in recent memory, and the two people I always depended on were either dead or unspeakably angry with me. So I did what I always did when spiraling. I drank. The little voice in the back of my head begged me not to, but god, I needed some kind of escapism or I was going to lose it once and for all. This delayed the inevitable, no matter how awful I knew it was for me. I could control this, right? I'd done it before and I stopped, I could do it again.

Right?