The Hybrid (A Twilight Saga Continuation) (Slow Updates)

20: Something Old

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I hopped over the stream that bordered the property and noticed I was not alone. To my left my reflection walked with me, eyes shining bright with happiness.

"Why are you here?" I asked out loud knowing that I would sound crazy to any Cullens or wolves within hearing distance.

"I am always here." She answered.

"Yes. I understand that. I am you. You are me. We are one. But if you don't leave me alone I'm turning back right now and I'll never let you out."

"I will find a way." She whispered as she disappeared.

I was alone.

I walked for miles into the woods not paying attention to where I was going. The idea of changing into a cat was easy for me, I'd seen it done dozens of times. Changing from one living thing to another made complete sense but changing into something unchanging, something without a heartbeat, seemed impossible.

'How am I supposed to do this?' I reached out to N'Mai.

'The same way you make any other major change.' She answered quickly as if expecting to hear from me. 'It starts in your heart. Before it was your natural instinct to make your heart bigger and stronger. This time it is the opposite. You must make your heart still and unchanging like a stone or mountain. After the first time you will feel strength in this change and it will also become instinct.

'The cold hurts because you reject it. Accept it and accept who you are; everything will be just fine.'

I could picture her smiling at me and then I was alone again. I looked around and realized I had unconsciously walked to a small clearing on the line between the Cullen's land and the Quileute Reservation.

"Perfect." I said aloud to myself. I spread the blanket on the damp leaves and sat down, legs crossed; Indian Style.

Time moved, Hours or minutes, I didn't know. I lay on my back and felt the coldness from the ground slowly seep into the blanket and my sweater.

The moon was directly overhead. It was a little over half and yellow leaving an eerie glow in the trees. I could see the part of the mood hidden in the shadows. Even if it looked like it was different every night, the moon was exactly the same and had been forever.

Hard, cold, unchanging and reflecting sunlight. I laughed at the similarities, clasped my hands over my stomach and closed my eyes.

"Just be the moon. Easy."

I shut out every other noise and concentrated on my heartbeat. I took slow steady breaths and allowed the painful cold to spread through my veins. As it spread the pain subsided and became a comfortable cool feeling. My heartbeat became erratic and unsteady and I reminded myself that this is what I wanted.

I took slower breaths until I exhaled and realized I had no reason to inhale. I heard everything around me but my heart was silent.

I opened my eyes. The moon had only shifted slightly but there was so much more detail than before. I could see the craters and crevices of the side in the shadow.

I was on my feet before I could even think the action.

I realized the forest that I thought was dark and sleeping was awake with its own bust nightlife. I watched as hundreds of insects moved on the ground and through the trees. Owls and rodents on the ground watched me silently. I realized everything was moving a lot slower than I remembered. No I just moved faster so I saw the world as moving more slowly.