The Hybrid (A Twilight Saga Continuation) (Slow Updates)

23: Dream State

'I am sitting at the edge of a deep forest. Behind me I can hear the buzzing chirping and scurrying of a thousand different critters. I am dreaming. The forest is behind me but a vast neverending desert is stretched out in front of me. I am sitting on a large freshly fallen pine tree but my bare feet are covered in warm sand.

"This contrast is beautiful." I am not surprised to find N'Mai sitting next to me.

"Am I doing this or are you?" I ask without turning to face her. It feels like we have been sitting here in comfortable silence for hours.

"I am doing the dream walking but you picked the surroundings."

I nodded. This does look like a place I would design.

"Your mother told me you might have some questions."

"My parents are here in Washington. I wonder who picked them up from the airport." I am eerily calm. I also wonder if Jasper has something to do with that.

"What happened to me? You said I would stay in control of myself."

"I said you would be in control if you embraced all that you are."

"I did embrace it. I changed willingly."

"As a vampire you did not embrace your very first instinct."

I think about it for a second. What was my first instinct?

I figure it out and turn to her confused and angry. "You're saying I should have found and fed off of the closest human. I am not a killer."

She smiles and places a hand on my bare shoulder. I am wrapped in red linen like the Shifters of her pack.

"I'm saying that when you followed your instincts and embraced all that you are there was no need for death." She stares intensely at me willing me to understand.

I look down at my hands feeling my pulse move through my veins.

"Even when I am a vampire I am still human. I fed myself and if I had remembered that earlier I could have avoided all the burning."

"Yes and the passing out. The hunger is very tiring and dehydrating"

I laugh at myself, "So simple. Wait, why didn't you just tell me all this before? You knew this would happen."

She looks at me sympathetically, "The same reason your mother could not tell you where to find me. The journey and the choice have to be yours."

"The choice?" I can feel real anger rising in me, "And if I made the wrong choice and ate that cougar what then?"

"Why would that be wrong? That cat might look like your kin but it is not. It is only a matter of time before one of your vampire friends makes a meal of him. What else to the great cats have to fear and do they not also hunt and kill to survive? Do most people not eat cow, chicken and pig? Everything must eat to live. Your vampires have decided to abstain from humans but you have decided that as a vampire, you are a vegan; no flesh but your own which also makes you a cannibal." She smiles at that last thought and I can't help but smile with her knowing she is right.

"Mikenna you now know yourself, you know your own strength and how far you can go before the hunger takes over." She stands up and stretches.

"Where are you going? The calm peace of my dream is back.

She turns towards the woods, "I think I will go explore your forest before you wake and I am kicked out of your head." She bends and placed a quick kiss on the top of my head. "Until next time my child." She disappeares into the trees.

I sit in warmth and comfort between my two worlds not able to feel time passing until I start to feel sleepy. I curl up on the log, my full body able to fit easily, and fall asleep.

As I fell asleep in my dream I woke up in the real world. Without opening my eyes I knew I was safe in my motel bed. I could hear Jacob talking on the phone just outside the slightly open door. I opened my eyes and tried to sit up but I felt weak and my head throbbed. I threw my arm over my eyes, groaned and stopped moving willing the pain in my head to go away.

I heard the door open and Jacob whispered something about me to the person on the line. Seconds later I felt the bed shift as he sat next to me.

"Hey Beautiful, how are you feeling?" he ran a finger along my jaw.

"Ugh, I feel so...so..." I couldn't think of the right word to describe my nausea, hunger, headache, thirst and weakness all in one.

"Human?" Jake finished for me.

I nodded because my throat was too dry to talk but the movement made me dizzy. I'd never been really really drunk but I guess this is what an extreme hangover felt like.

"Carlisle said you passed out from exhaustion and dehydration. He had you on an IV drip for a while then I brought you here to sleep it off."

"How long?" I croaked not able to finish the question.

"You passed out early yesterday morning so you've been out about 34 hours. Here."

I peeked out from behind my arm as he handed me three aspirin and a glass of water. The most beautiful water I'd ever seen but I didn't want to sit up to drink it.

"You might need this," Jake picked a straw up from the nightstand and put it in the glass. I smiled up at him in relief. I knew there was a reason I loved him so much.

I took the pills and gulped the whole glass down greedily. I thanked God the water was room temperature; I couldn't handle a brain freeze on top of the current pain.

"Thank you." I whispered. My throat felt 100% better but I was still so tired.

"Carlisle also said you would need more sleep before you felt like yourself again."

"What time is it?"

"Almost 10 PM."

I reached up and stroked the dark circles under his eyes, "You need sleep too."

He kissed the middle of my palm, "I'm going to take a shower, then I'll sleep." He gave me a quick, careful kiss then disappeared into the bathroom.

I found another glass of water on the nightstand and gulped it down. My whole body felt heavy but I could feel the strength coming back into my arms very slowly.

It almost made sense that feeling completely human and hungover were the side effect of being a vampire. I decided I needed to run some tests. If I wasn't a vampire for so long and didn't allow myself to get so thirsty would I feel this bad afterwards?

I also needed to ask Jake about my parents before I fell asleep. Who picked them up from the airport? But by the time Jake got out of the shower I was half under and just like old times, as soon as he wrapped his arms around my I was fast asleep.