Emotionless

Lost and Forget

I'm now 8 years old. My parents been recently divorced. Things were going down. The bullying have been being more frequent the divorce of my parents were a great lost. At this point I felt alone. Unwanted. Broken. To the point where I just don't want to exist anymore. I began questioning things. Why am I still alive? Why must I be place such a cruel fate? What would happened if I just died from birth? I would not have to face such a cruel fate. It was Saturday the September of fall going to October. I was cleaning my room doing my chores and trying to cope with this new change in my life. When all of a sudden my mother grabbed my favorite toy. My teddy bear.

"M-M-Mommy? Wh-What are doing with S-Softybear?" I asked her kindly with stutters here and there. "I'm throwing him away." My mother stated. My eyes widen, time stopped all at once. I couldn't believe what I hear. "Wh-why?" I asked trying not break down. "Because he's dirty and old plus your a big girl and big girls don't need stuff like this!" She said grabbing my other stuff animals. But I don't want her to throw them. They were my friends! "N-NO!!!!" I screamed. I ran towards her to stop her but my step father who I only known for a few months stopped me. "N-NO!!!! DON'T D-DO IT!!!!" I screamed. Tears steaming down my face. "DON'T TH-TH-THROW THEM A-AWAY!!!!!" I yelled. My mother did not hear me and continued what she was doing. "PL-PL-PLEASE!!!!! M-MOMMY ST-STOP!!!!!" I yelled. My chest began to hurt. I didn't care at all at this point. "M-MOMMY!!!!!!" I yelled one last time. When all of my friends were gone I locked myself in my room crying my eyes out. The pain in my chest grew and it was getting harder to breathe. I truly felt alone. Lost. My stepfather told me we will get me a new one but I don't want a new one. I want my old friend back. The one that has been with me from the start of my struggles. The one I promised we will make it together. People saw traumatic stuff but have you seen your mother throw your friends away? Seen her never ever giving into your cries to stop? Ever met a cruel woman who does not care for her child's own happiness? From there I found out how the world truly worked.

It was Wednesday I got up and got ready I looked at myself in the mirror. I looked terrible for a 8 year old. Bags under my eyes the broken and hurt in my eyes along with the puffiness. A smile that was completely broken and will never see the light of happiness again. I got ready and ate my breakfast. I headed to my school all glares were on me. I didn't pay much attention all I wanted for the day to be over. I sat in my seat in my 2nd grade class. I was getting my stuff out until my teachers asked me if I was fine. I nodded and told her I'm fine. It hurts telling her the story of what I lost the most. She nodded and walked away and began teaching her class. She gave us a handout and chose readers to read for her. She chose me and I began to read. "Th-the hurric-c-cane is a n-n-natural dis-di-disa-...ummm." I said having troubles of pronouncing a word and keeping my stutter under control. Kids started to laugh and I was embarrassed. "She's stupid!" One kid yelled. "How did she make it this far anyways!" Another added. "Hey guys! L-l-look at m-me!!!" One kid mocked me making fun of my stutter. The teacher told everyone to calm down while I'm over here hanging my head. I told the teacher if I can go to the bathroom and she excused me. I took the pass and ran to the bathroom. I went into a stall and cried from there. I don't want to be here anymore. The tears kept falling and falling. No one doesn't want me. I have no friends.....no family......no home....

No love.....just the sad reality of the world we live in.