Emotionless

Flower Crown

It was another boring day in school. Tired, sleep deprived, and most importantly stressed. It's almost the end of the school year, projects and performances left and right keep appearing and I have to stay after school for rehearsal and such. I'm just dreading for the day where I can no longer stress and sleep properly or at least attempt to that is.

Today I'm staying after school not because it's rehearsal today thank god. But, I wanna hang out with my friends for a while if anything I really don't wanna go home. I don't know...lately I've been feeling more like an alien in that household. Even my sister makes me feel like I am. If anything I need a break feeling different amongst my family.

"Willow! Look at the flowers!" Harper shout out in her usual cheerful voice. I looked up bringing myself back to reality and see a bed of white flowers in our school field. "They look lovely."I said admiring it from a far. "Come on!" She grabbed hold of my hand and hurried to the bed of flowers and sat there. I picked one of the flowers and examined the sweet innocent details of the white flower. I smiled gently at the flower feeling calm and relaxed.

When was the last time I saw something white and pure....I thought to myself.

"Let's make a flower crown!" Harper suggested and started picking big white flowers and some small ones. "I...I don't know how to make one..."I said putting the flower down into the grass. "It's okay! I'll teach you!" Harper said with a smile. Harper gathered enough flowers she needed to make a crown.

"First you take the two ends of the flowers and you tie them but not to tight." She started off. I watched her do so with the two flowers in her hand. It was interesting to watch and calming as well. She soon started adding another flower and another. "You know...." i broke the silence that lingered in the air, "when I was little I always wanted to make flower crowns." Harper looked at me surprise, "Why didn't you?" She asked. I averted my gaze away from her and looked ahead of me. "Because....."

Flashback

I was only 5 years old playing in the front yard of my apartment. There was flowers and when I was little I always wanted to make the flower crowns I've always seen on T.V. So I attempted to over and over again.

People around me looked at me thinking what I'm doing. But I could care less. I was doing something that made me happy for once. Something that made life probably sweet. However, things that are with me it don't end up like that.

My mother, destroyed that...."what are you doing!?" She yelled at me. I said nothing I was too afraid to talk. "Answer me child!" She shouted. In a meek voice I was able to reply. "I was making those flower hats I saw on T.V....Mommy..." for a moment she looked at me baffled and soon her expression turned back to anger. "Why the hell would you wanna make those things!" She yelled, "they are stupid! Meaningless! They are nothing but a waste of time! You wanna know why?" She asked her icy glare was making me wanna hide more in the corner. I shook my head no. "Because they die! And it's gonna just make a mess!" She yelled at me. From there I understood and I never made or attempted to create a flower crown again.

As much they look pretty on some girls head I can never look pass it and think about what my mother said about those flowers. Especially the last part of that conversation....

"Besides.....if you wear those damn things....it will look dead on your head as well...."

End of Flashback

I was lost in my own thoughts dwelling upon what my mother said. I didn't think of how quiet I was being. But Harper didn't say anything and she probably thinks I wanna be alone with my own thoughts for a bit. My gaze moved looking ahead to looking at the white flowers. I picked another one up and examined it. "So yea.....that's why I never learned how to make a flower crown." I said.

Harper was being quiet as well I looked over at her to see if she was okay. But as I did so. She put the flower crown on my head. "There!" She said. She was fixing and adjusting the crown on my head and moving my hair around. She then smiled at me and took her phone out and told me to look down and close my eyes. Confused, I did I was told and she took a picture.

"What are you doing?" I asked her. After a few minutes my phone beeped and I looked and saw she tagged me in a photo on Instagram. I saw and see that she posted me with a flower crown on it. "Wow! It looks good!" I told her.

"Right! I wanna experiment and make different kinds." She said smiling, "so what do you think?" She asked me. "I like it! It's really pretty!" I complimented Harper's work. "I'm glad you like it!" She said.

Soon after that we went home. I was at my computer desk doing homework. I just finished the problem on my homework and put everything away. I let out a sigh and soon pulled out my composition notebook and opened it up to new page. My mind been busy with many things lately so the best way to cope with it was to write out....what I hear. Most of it will have a title some won't but this one will....

Vegas City Lights.....