Emotionless

Night Terrors

Everything around me was dark and damp or so I thought.

"Don't be shy little girl...." a husky male voice have called out to me, "pose for the camera will ya?" A flash of light shined my way. I winced at the sudden brightness.

"Please....stop...."my weak voice called out. The stranger did nothing but reply with a chuckle. Soon that chuckle turned into a laugh. "I love when you beg." He said in a low tone. Soon another flash of light appear. And I caught a better glimpse of my surroundings. I was in a photoshoot on a bed. But....this wasn't your regular photoshoot.

Where are my clothes? The guy laughed once again and took pictures of me. Nothing covering me, nothing to shield myself, just nothing. "Stop!" I yelled. Picture after picture I pleaded and tried to cover myself but something was stopping me in doing so. "Your such a good little girl....you deserve an award..." the stranger spoke. I heard something be placed down followed by a belt being undone and a zipper.

"NO! Stop!?" I cried. I tried moving around but nothing in my body moved. I shut my eyes as quite whimpers escaped from my mouth. However, nothing happened and I slowly opened my eyes and woken up in a classroom sitting at a desk.

It was empty. No students or teachers. I looked down automatically and was relieved that I was wearing clothes. I got up from the desk and walked around the classroom. In all honestly I don't recognize this classroom. I can guess it's some random high school class judging from the textbooks I see stacked in a bookshelf.

It has everything you expect a classroom to have a whiteboard, desks, books, windows but it doesn't have a door. I tried opening the windows but the lock wouldn't budge, no matter what object I jammed it in to loosen it up.

"Have you seen that freak Willow around lately?" A familiar feminine voice was heard outside of the window. I looked up and saw Jamie. "Jamie!" I cried out banging on the window to get her attention.

"Nope! And thank goodness she's nothing but a nuisance." Alice answered Jamie's question. "What...?" I was in total disbelief. "I'm glad she's gonna die in a few years!" Maxell added on. "Why....? These aren't my friends." I told myself. "Yea! She was nothing but a burden on our shoulders." Shrimpy agreed with others.

One by one I heard what each of my friend had to say about me. "She can get so annoying with her squeaky voice!" Nabi brought up. "Not only that her childish personality makes her look like an attention seeker." Katlia mentioned.

"But....I'm not..." I mumbled to myself. "You sure about that?" A familiar female voice was heard behind me. I turned around and was meet eye to eye with Harper. "Harper! What's going on? Why is our friends saying these things about me?" I asked her question after question.

She looked at me and gave me a small smile didn't even answer my questions. "Harper?....your scaring me..." I managed to say out.

"Little o' Willow....you were always the weak type." Harper said bluntly, "barely being able to defend yourself, stand up for your own good, always afraid of the little things in life." Harper grew closer towards me.

"Harper what are you doing?" I asked her. "Showing you that you don't belong here....or anywhere as long you live...." Harper replied in a cold tone. Next that happened, she punched me across the face. I fell down to the ground. "Come on, get up! Take a hit will you!" She taunted me. "I'm not going to hurt you Harper! Your my friend!" I cried out to her hoping I can get through her.

She picked me up and had me stand on my feet. "That's when your wrong....I was never your friend neither was the others....you damn freak!" Harper threw me at the window. The window shattered causing me to go through.

I was expecting to hit the ground but I didn't I was falling endlessly and as I fell I saw Harper's face full of disgust and hatred towards me. Soon everything turned black and I was still falling.

I looked around my surroundings trying to find something to grab on but it was nothing but pure blackness. Or so I thought. A dark voice echoed amongst the dark walls. Calling out names, names that would describe me as my flaws.

Disgraceful, talentless, weak, push-over, traumatic, attention-seeker, psychotic, quite, mysterious, tainted, good for nothing, brat, freak, Satan-worshipper, pathetic, negative, failure, cutter, whore, anorexic, suicidal, emotionless.....

When the last word was spoken I finally hit the ground.

I woke up in a gasp. Everything around me was moving so fast and every noise was so loud. I started to shake uncontrollably and brought my legs close to my chest and started to cry quietly. It was another episode of my night terrors. I've had them every since I was little. There not as bad as they were before but I do get them here and there. There's no determining when it will happen there's no trigger it's like a gamble. Some nights I'm afraid to fall asleep because of my night terrors and due to that I developed insomnia at a young age.

I know it's not good, but I am a very broken person and I can't help it. Especially things like these, my night terrors will fixate on something that happened in the past or something my inner demons will enjoy taunting me with. Yes, my night terrors end up becoming this bad and when it does the next day I feel like total shit and isolate myself from everyone no matter what.

Even though it's nice to tell people how you feel......

Something like these I wish to not repeat or talk about....again....