Emotionless

16th birthday

It was September 18th 2017. The day I was born, the day I turn 16.....to be honest with all of you I'm not really to thrilled about it. Why? It'll just be any other birthday I had. To be real with all of you I never really knew what a birthday was. Kids laughed at me for not knowing such a special moment of the year. They thought I was dumb or stupid but in reality I never had what others had described it, cake, presents, balloons! All I got on my birthday was being behind a close door of my room in the dark listening to the yelling of my parents. It changed now since my parents are divorced but yet I still got nothing but a simple Happy Birthday and they just went on with their lives. However, my family on my dad's side wanted to throw me a sweet 16. I refused and most of them got mad since they think I should be celebrating a very important milestone of my life! I mean i'm already in the spotlight so why must I go and make it extravagant.

I sighed and put my earbuds in as I walked up to the school gates. I was listening to "I'll Sleep When I'm Dead" by Set It Off. I looked at the time on my phone and reads 7:50. This is going to be a long day...... I thought to myself. I finally made it to the bench that me and the rest of the group hang around. It was close to our Algebra teacher's class when we were in Freshman he's a really cool teacher. I took one earbud out so I can be aware of any of my friends or that I can hear them yelling out my name. Looking through Instagram I heard a familiar feminine voice.

"Willow!" I turned my attention away from my phone and saw Harper making her way towards me waving. I waved back at her as she came close to me. "Happy Birthday Willow!" Harper said giving me a hug. "Thanks." I said. She pulled away from the hug and gave me this concern worry look. "What's wrong Harper?" I asked. "Shouldn't I be the one to ask you that?" She said. "What are you talking about?" I asked her. "You're not your happy smiling-self." She said. "Oh, that! It's just that today is different that's all." I said. "Is it because you're getting older?" She said with a playful voice. "Ha ha ha very funny!" I said sarcastically, "nothing to start a birthday with old people jokes." I said. She laughed at my comment. After a few minutes of laughing she calmly collected herself and went back to be serious. "But for real....what's wrong?" She asked me. "If I tell you, you promise not to tell anyone?" I asked her. She nodded and crossed her heart then hooked her pinky with my pinky. She just double promise. I took a deep breathe and calm myself down. "It started back in middle school in my hometown it was the beginning of sixth grade......."

Flashback

The door slammed shut as I came running inside some picture frames fell but I could care less. I just had the shittiest day at school. What was it? Will today in school those fucking bitches tore apart my sketchbook and then beat me up. I collected what ever I had and ran off. I didn't care my uniform was a mess and covered in foot prints and blood all I care about is getting the fuck away from them. I ran up the stairs and gone into my room. I threw my bag at the wall creating a loud thud noise. "I can't do this anymore!!!!" I screamed, "Why am I so different! Why do I have to be so different!" I ran to my bed and pulled out a kitchen knife from under my pillow that was meant to keep any intruder from harming me since we were in the bad part of the neighborhood.

I went to my bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. Tears ran down my face staining my cheeks. I looked directly at myself in the mirror. "I hate you!!!!"I said yelling at my reflection. I pulled the sleeve's of my jacket up holding the knife in my left hand. I bring the knife close to the expose wrist ready to do something that I might regret in the future. I hear this small voice in my head telling me to do it. The knife grew closer and closer to my wrist inches away. Before the first cut can be made I heard a soft knock on the door way of my bathroom. I turned my attentions away from what was I doing and to whoever it was. It was my half-sister Lily. "Lily....." I said. "Willow?.....what are you doing?" She said tiredly. She must have woken from her nap. I was confused as to what she meant until I turned my gaze back to what was about to happen. The knife lightly pressed against my skin. I gasped and drop the knife instantly. "Willow?" I heard Lily's sweet little voice. I feel to my knees and cried my eyes out. "I'm sorry.......I'm so sorry....." I said repeating it over and over again as if I committed a sin.