Emotionless

Last day of Sophomores

It has finally been officially the last day of school. Everyone is excited and started making plans of what they are gonna do for the summer. For me, I feel like it'll be any other summer for me. Staying inside all day and do nothing. I can tell by the back of my hand it's gonna be crappy. I haven't been feeling great lately my family been putting me down and when I mean family I mean my grandmother. Nothing I do ever please her or make her accept me for me. It just made me hate myself for it. But I try to push that aside and enjoy the last day with my friends. Since it was the last day we ditched our classes and played a card game that was quite inappropriate. Besides the point, it was a nice hanging out with them it was something to get my mind off of things. Lots of laughs, jokes, and sexual humor was involved. Sometimes, it's what I need the most in the world.

Unfortunately the day had to come to an end. We gave each other hugs and told each other don't cry or I swear. To me I really didn't want this to end. Because I'm afraid this will be the last time I'll see them again. My days are slowly being numbered. Who knows what could happened. As we each separated one after another I was once again left alone.

I waited at the bus stop listening to music. I don't know why, but I feel alone. Why do I feel like I'm forgotten? The bus pulled up and I put my change in the machine and took my seat. They wouldn't forget me, right? As each stop was made I started listing the things I could possibly done that they could have leave me for or forgotten me.

Obnoxious, childish, useless, negative, traumatic, secretive, loud, disturbing

My stop arrived and I got off the bus and made my way home. Each step heading home I can feel the disappointment and unwelcome vibes from a mile away. Nowhere felt like a home to me.

As I arrived at the front porch of my house I was instantly greeted by my grandmother in the living room reading her mail as I walked inside. "Hi grandma...." I said in a monotone voice. She didn't greet me nor looked at me instead she asked me. "You going to that family reunion?" My family in my dad's side are having a family reunion however I refused to participate since I don't do to well in crowded places. "No." I replied. I started making headway to the hallway which leads to my bedroom. "Why is that?" She asked. Disappointment was evident in her tone. "I just don't wanna go...."I answered back. "That's not a good reason..." her tone suddenly turned from disappointment to anger. "Well, I'm not going end of story." I said and hastily walked away from her. She then started yelling my name repeatedly as if I'll come back.

Before I could close my bedroom door I heard her call me an ungrateful spoiled demon brat in a different language which I'm familiar with but can't speak it. I looked down at the ground as I closed the door and threw my stuff on the side of my bed and flopped on it officially giving up on living.

"Why was I born differently?...." I muttered to myself. I stared blankly at the white wall asking myself that question over and over again. Something I have always hated myself about...

Flashback

It was the middle of the school in 7th grade. I stayed home because I was sick and I didn't feel so good. My mother left me home alone and my sister was at my grandmothers house being watched since I was in no condition to babysit her. I woke up from a 4 hour nap and I got up to use the restroom.

As I got up to use the bathroom I leaned over the bathroom sink and started coughing badly as if my lungs were about to come out of my mouth. Hacking and coughing I thought I was dying. Eventually I threw up in the sink from whatever I ate for breakfast which was just bread.

Recovering after all that, I turned on the sink and cleaned my mouth that's when I looked up and saw my reflection in the mirror. I know I looked like a mess but the more I looked at myself I couldn't help but feel hatred and unhappiness. Just why does everyone always have target you? Why do you have to stand out? Why do you have to be different?

JUST WHY!?

Next thing I know it, my fist collided with the mirror shattering it. I then collapsed onto the bathroom floor crying. And as I cried I muttered the words

I hate you....

End of Flashback

I let out a sigh and sat up. I was about to get off my bed to get something to eat until my phone went off. I checked it and one of my friends texted in the group-chat.

Maxell: Hey Fam!

I smiled and soon more and more of them started to appear. What was I thinking that they'll ever leave me...? They're my friends we made memories together laughs, jokes, and most importantly we made a family. Even though my days are numbered they'll still be there till the end of time. I started typing into the group-chat and sent it. I couldn't ask for any better friends then these weirdos and to me that is a fact.

Hi guys.