Life behind the fame; A Conor Maynard fanfiction

Chapter 8

Conor's P.O.V

I try hard to keep my eyes open as I focus back on the TV screen where Jack was currently playing a game of FIFA, the sound of his fingers forcefully tapping the buttons on the PlayStation controller being the only thing that could be heard through out the flat.

Slowly do my eyes fall shut once again, my head leaned against the armrest of the white sofa.

I'm freezing although Jack keep complaining about the heating being on full blast so instead I just wrap myself up in a fucking lot of blankets and thick throws to try and not freeze to death.

"Oh for fuck sake, I'm so done with this shit!"

Jack throws the controller across the room making me jump slightly.

I still wasn't used to his random anger tantrums even though we'd been sharing living space for a good few months now.

Leaving me alone in the living room does he close the door to his bedroom, the sound of him preparing for one of his silly videos being heard through out the room.

I sigh, standing up to turn the TV off as Jack stupidly left it on. Still wrapped in a blanket as I'd literally be shaking if I took it off.

Maybe it was the anxiety that was playing up tonight or I'd actually gotten ill, honestly I couldn't even tell you, the feeling of sickness never really leaving me anyway.

I shake as I crawl in underneath my duvet, my head now pounding with a migraine like headache. Not even alcohol would actually cure this fucking mess.

If I'd only been able to actually go to sleep, if my life only had been somewhat normal.

Alaska, that's what I needed, I wanted to hear her calming voice, I wanted her soft hands to touch my skin, I wanted to feel her. Yet she hadn't answered my texts earlier and I knew she was busy, she always was and still she kept caring about me.

One time, I'd been at Alaska's one time before, after we'd met up in town and she needed to pick up something before we went to mine, maybe if I tried I'd be able to remember the way there yet maybe that would seem a bit too desperate.

Pulling on a hoodie do I hide in the hood, knocking on Jack's bedroom door to tell him that I'm going out.

"Filming!"

I can already see his annoyed eye roll before I even open the door yet I push it open, watching him sat on his bed, the camera on and recording in front of him.

"Oh, look who's arrived"

Poking my head into shot do I do a funny face.

It was all that I needed to do to please them for a while, it made me look normal, as if nothing was wrong.

"Anyway, I'm heading out, don't expect me to be back anytime soon"

Jack stare into the empty air in front of him as he thought. He didn't like when I went out at night and I know that it'll be the same tonight.

"Conor just.... Just be careful okay, remember I'm here if you need to talk about it"

I sigh, rolling my eyes as he plead. I don't know why he hasn't given up on me yet, we he still complain each time I leave the house on my own.

"I know, you treat me like I'm a two year old baby. I can take care of myself you know"

He look at me sternly for a few seconds before turning back to the still recording camera.

"You don't act like it though"

Ignoring his last statement do I leave the flat, shivering as the warmth from inside change to the freezing cold outside.