Life behind the fame; A Conor Maynard fanfiction

Chapter 43

Alaska's POV 

"Can you at least have one bite?"

I plead, watching Conor sat opposite me on his phone, the sandwich that he'd ordered still lying untouched on the plate beside him on the table. 

He'd been low the whole weekend and I had slowly but surely started to recognise the signs of him getting back into a bad period in his depression once again. To be fair had he been really good lately but I guess me receiving the diagnosis that in a matter of hours had changed my whole life had got to the both of us. 

"Not hungry, sorry babe"

I sigh, trying my best to not burst out into tears as I look at my distraught boyfriend. He didn't deserve this and even though he keeps saying that I'm the best that's happened to him am I sure his life would be ten times better without me in it right now. 

"I'll save it until after, okay?"

He leans over and stroke my hand, his fingers as dry as sandpaper, he clearly hadn't been looking after himself properly the last few weeks. I watch our fingers intertwined with each other and smile for myself. Hopefully, this would be something we'd look back and laugh at in the future. 

"Let's go then"

I feel the ball of worry growing in my stomach as I stand up from my seat, Conor shooting me a quick smile as he pushes his phone down in his pocket. 

"You got everything, yeah?"

Checking my bag do I nod, letting him wrap his arm around my shoulders as we leave the small cafe down the road from the hospital. 

***

"It's just a small prick and then you won't feel anything, okay?"

My fear of needles had arisen to the surface as the nurse picked up a large one from her trolley. Memories from when my dad had had to go through the same thing flooded my mind and I instantly begin to cry. 

"Sorry"

I hulk, drying my tears against the sleeve of my hoodie, or in fact Conor's hoodie as he'd lent me it when I felt cold in the in the waiting rooms. 

"It's alright love. I understand that this is an emotional time for you but it has to be done"

The nurse smiles down at me, her hand on my shoulder, giving it a comforting squeeze. 

"Now, Conor if you could just take a seat in front of Alaska here and we'll be able to get this done as smoothly as possible"

She pulled a chair over so that Conor could sit down by my side, probably in hope of having him distracting me from what is about to happen. Oh, how wrong she was. Not even Conor dancing naked with his dick out would stop me from thinking of it. 

Conor grabs my hand, intertwining our fingers, the act calming me down a bit. 

"You were my sun, you were my earth. But you didn't know all the ways I loved you, no. So you took a chance, made other plans. But I bet you didn't think that they would come crashing down, no"

He sings quietly, just loud enough for me to hear it and honestly it's one of the nicest things someone has ever done to me. Zoning out do I let him continue, his soft vocals making me want to cry. How he still wasn't world famous is something I don't think I'll ever get my head around. 

"You don't have to say, what you did. I already know, I found out from him. Now there's just no chance. With you and me. There'll never be. Don't it make you sad about it? You told me you love me. Why did you leave me all alone? Now you tell me you need me. When you call me on the phone. Girl I refuse. You must have me confused with some other guy. The bridges were burned. Now it's your turn, to cry"