Life behind the fame; A Conor Maynard fanfiction

Chapter 26

Conor's P.O.V

It's the twenty-second of January 2016 and I'm all alone or at least I feel as if that's the case. I've pretty much ignored mine and Alaska's situation for two whole months and still I haven't found the courage to talk to her about what I said.

I mean, how could I possibly tell her now. Like I'd completely fucked this up big-time. She'd never believe me as she pretty much thought I joked around last time.

Sighing do I walk up to the window, the view is so new to me and not being on the bottom floor has been a real change.

Luckily this felt safer, we were in an apartment complex this time and to be fair is it a lot cheaper living here than in the big house.

It made me feel a lot more secure about the future knowing we didn't have to work our asses off to be able to pay the rent each month. Something that had been the case the last month in the old place.

Not being signed had definitely had it's impacts when it came to the economic side of things, at least until now.

I'd frantically been contacting different labels for quite some time now and luckily one had responded with a positive answer. I'd got a contract for this upcoming year at least and it had made my life a lot easier to live.

And even though I certainly hadn't missed the business meetings or the manager side of things did it make sense for me to be signed. I need the money to even be able to survive.

Though honestly the amount of money in my bank account only made me feel worse mentally and working a bit harder with the covers and my YouTube channel had only done me good.

Yet as I said, I don't want to be known for YouTube, I want to be an artist with songs playing on the radio.

It had even gone as far as I'd had to post my original song called Lighthouse to facebook because of the fact that I didn't have a label. And that my friends is a downfall in itself.

"You coming with us to lunch?"

Jack leans against the door frame, a black beanie loose on his head.

"You going now?"

He rolls his eyes as if I'm completely dumb.

"Yes, Josh and Mikey are waiting"

I just wish I'd be able to say yes to that because I want to be that normal guy who doesn't care about the things that happened recently.

Yet I feel strange in a way, I don't feel like leaving the house, going out for lunch today.

Not that I feel that regularly but today just felt that extra wrong.

"Sorry I'm busy"

I can sense the disappointment on his face as I said that and I instantly feel bad.

"You busy? Conor you're going away in just a couple of days"

"Yeah and that's the reason to why I'm busy, I need to finish everything before I go off to a random country in the middle of central America"

Costa Rica, I was going to film something for BBC in Costa Rica and I still haven't really got my head around it. Alaska doesn't even know about it yet.

It had just all crashed down on me this year, reality show here and working with Alesso there. What the fuck could the next big thing be?

"Just don't forget about us during all of this Conor"

Jack pleads, looking at me where I'm stood in the middle of my bedroom this late morning in the end of January.

"How could I possibly forget about you when you're all up in my grill all the fucking time. Just give me some space, please"