Life behind the fame; A Conor Maynard fanfiction

Chapter 48

Conor's POV

Tired, just overall mentally exhausted. That's my life at the moment and it doesn't matter how many hours I spend in bed or how many cups of coffee I drink. I still am just as drained of energy as I'd been during the past couple of weeks. 

"Conor?!"

I blink a couple of times, switching my attention over to my younger brother who's sat opposite me in the Capital FM studio. 

"What?!"

He rolls his eyes annoyed as I snap angrily, I'm just too tired to be civil at the moment and recording a radio show is definitely something I'd do well with skipping. 

"We'll cut it there, good job guys"

The director smiles awkwardly towards me as he stops the recording. He looks far from happy with our performance this morning but what is there to do when I struggle with even keeping my eyes open. 

"You sleeping at Alaska's tonight or?"

Jack holds the heavy glass door open for me as we step out into the freezing cold December air and before everyone starts complaining about London not being cold, I get it just don't fucking mention it each and every time I bring it up. 

"Probably, you know she's coming with us down to Brighton at the end of the week, yeah?"

He nods, walking over to the car to wait on me to unlock it. Usually, we'd take an Uber but I just can't be bothered with having to wait in the cold seeing everyone orders cars at this time a year. 

"Is she coming around to Berties at Christmas eve as well?"

Since Alaska doesn't have much of a connection with her family up in Manchester had my family decided to take her in over Christmas and just like last year she'll be spending the holiday with us Maynards. 

"I guess so. Do you mind if she does?"

I start the engine, pausing the Drake song that starts playing as soon as my phone automatically connects with the car's audio system. Drake is good but his songs always put me into some sort of depressed mood every single time I listen to them. Maybe it's the memories or just the lyrics but I honestly don't care right now. 

"Naah, not at all"

He avoids my eye contact, staring out through the window as small droplets of water start falling from the sky, the faint rain giving a good representation of my current state of mind. If only life had a good set of windshield wipers to clear it all away I wouldn't be like this all the fucking time.  

"Jack, please bro"

When he doesn't answer do I just lean my head against the door, the headache I'm currently experiencing slowly but surely killing every single part of me and as the cars in front of us start to move forward do I know that all I want to do is go to sleep and never wake up again. Not even my brother is supporting me anymore. 

"Fucking hell, move!"

I beep my horn as a man stops in the middle of a zebra crossing. 

"Conor, calm down"

 The man gives me the finger but soon gets a move on making it possible for me to drive away before I do anything stupid, Jack turning the music on to aid the tension that has occurred between us. 

I've been looking sad in all the nicest places. Baby, baby, I feel crazy. I see you around in all these empty faces. Up all night, all night and every day. I've been looking sad in all the nicest places. Give me something, oh, but you say nothing. Now I'm in a cab, I tell 'em where your place is.
What is happening to me?