DIVE [1; CHRIS EVANS]

I.

01. TEXTS

LOLA
my timeline is full of shit, so I'm assuming that you and Christopher have a nice time last night?

MINNIE
oh yes, I transported to the other side of the country for a little date, and quite spectacularly managed to be in two places at once

MINNIE
I managed to both enjoy a romantic meal with Chris in downtown L.A and !! had a cosy little family night with dad and the boys all at once in New York !! Amazing what the average human being can accomplish in this day and age !!

LOLA
that's fucking magical, man

LOLA
you should add that skill to your resume, honestly

MINNIE
can you believe that there are rumours that Chris is going to propose to me soon ??

MINNIE
I mean, I'm thrilled at the very thought of it, although it is a little unexpected, if I'm being real here

LOLA
I agree entirely

LOLA
it would be a shock for all of us who know you, but I'm never gonna pass up an opportunity for wedding cake and booze

MINNIE
I agree, like can you just imagine it !! me, marrying my apparent boyfriend of six months who I've never once spoken to :))

MINNIE
romance lives on

MINNIE
true love IS real

LOLA
you know though I think it's pretty traditional to at least meet your fiancé once if you want the love to really peak

MINNIE
it's the 21st century, baby, fuck tradition

MINNIE
me and Chris are meant to be, the press says we're adorable

LOLA
I want to know what the press are basing that off of

MINNIE
the clear abundance of evidence that we spend a shit ton of time together and are madly deeply in love

MINNIE
I mean, there's gotta be absolutely loads of pictures from all the time we've spent together

MINNIE
barely a day goes by when I don't see him despite the fact that we both live in different states and have packed schedules

LOLA
let's not forget the small detail regarding the fact that you've never spoken to one another once

MINNIE
I mean, but it's only a minor detail

MINNIE
it's so easy to forget that tiny little fact, especially if you're a media outlet publishing stories about our long and fruitful love affair

LOLA
but you're still not bothered about the rumours, of course

MINNIE
of course

MINNIE
you know me, I'm rarely bitter and never ever fixate on the idiocy of the press

LOLA
you? not at all

MINNIE
exactly !!

MINNIE
honestly I'm lowkey flattered that they think I'm on the same level as Chris Evans and would ever stand a chance with him

LOLA
I mean, honestly, if I was even the slightest bit straight I'd wanna climb him like a tree

MINNIE
sigh we all would

MINNIE
he's captain america and it isn't even CGI

MINNIE
like I work out five days a week and still look like a noodle

MINNIE
he probably does bicep curls in his fucking sleep, lo

LOLA
not again

LOLA
deep breaths pls

MINNIE
damn it

MINNIE
let's pretend I live the life that the press thinks I do, it's much more fun than what I legit get up to

LOLA
I love reading rumours about you honestly because I learn so many new things that even yOU don't know about yourself

MINNIE
it's truly wonderful, I know, I know

LOLA
dude but surely you're legit gonna get to speak to him sooner or later, you've gotta bump into each other at some sort of event during awards season or something??

MINNIE
idk, I'm sure we will meet sooner or later

LOLA
you better

MINNIE
I guess we'll just have to wait and see!

LOLA
why do I feel like you're plotting something

MINNIE
I just have a face that always looks mildly suspicious

LOLA
lmao true

AUTHOR'S NOTE: starting as I mean to go on; messily