DIVE [1; CHRIS EVANS]

XVIII.

18. GROUPCHAT

ANTHONY
question

ROBERT
what?

ANTHONY
me and tim were just talking

MINNIE
if you need a place to hide a body I know a few

TOM
wait wHAT?? I'M ALIVE, wE WERE ONLY TEXTING??

SEBASTIAN
damn it Anthony you had one job

ANTHONY
shush shush I have witty shit to say

CHRIS
does this mean we have to backtrack to when you said question and pretend no one else spoke

ANTHONY
yes, and for emphasis, I'm going to start all over again from that moment

LIZZIE
oh joy

ANTHONY
question

MINNIE
what?

ANTHONY
why haven't we heard any squeaking on set today

LIZZIE
huh??

ANTHONY
you know

ANTHONY
squeaking

ROBERT
yeah but what about it

ANTHONY
squeak squeak squeak

TOM
you mean like the noise a mouse makes, right?

CHRIS
wow is this what you guys were smirking about, you spent time planning this crap

ROBERT
LAME

ANTHONY
exactly, Tim, just like a mouse!

MINNIE
this is so original I've never heard any joke quite like this in all of my twenty five years on this earth

SEBASTIAN
I can't understand tone over text is she being sarcastic or

CHRIS
no, deadly serious

CHRIS
I just know that rn, she's ordering room service and laughing profusely at Anthony's wit

ANTHONY
why do you all have to be so mean

TOM
yeah! why do you??

ANTHONY
can it, tim

TOM
im gonna tell everyone the truth about all of you when we're doing press

SEBASTIAN
that's cute, kid

ANTHONY
anyway for real why haven't we heard any squeaking on set today

ROBERT
Minnie isn't filming today, none of the winning team are

CHRIS
wdym all of my team are on set ??

MINNIE
you guys need couple's therapy, not a fucking war

CHRIS
I already pitched that idea to marvel but they weren't all for it for some reason?? Said something about it being an unrealistic plot for an action film or some other nonsense

MINNIE
diddly darn what a shame

ANTHONY
wHY AREN'T YOU ON SET, MINNIE