DIVE [1; CHRIS EVANS]

XXXIX.

39. GROUPCHAT

SEBASTIAN
whoa wait I need some reassurance

TOM
seb's being needy, wow what's new

SEBASTIAN
tom's being an irritating little asshole, wow what's new

ANTHONY
it's 7am and I already want to go back to bed, wow what's new

MINNIE
I've had this chat unmuted for less than 24 hours and my thumb is already hovering over the button again, wow what's new

ROBERT
my work children are bickering again, wow what's new

LIZZIE
all of the losers I work with are dragging a weird sort of meme out when it wasn't funny to start with, wow what's new

CHRIS
sorry guys I'm killing the joke

TOM
Chris is being a killjoy, wow what's new

MINNIE
tom holland's being blocked, wow what a shame

SEBASTIAN
hi can I have all of the attention back on me please

CHRIS
what's up sport

SEBASTIAN
are #chrinnie still hip and happening ?? bc I thought the rumours were bs but then u guys aren't rlly interacting online anymore ?? I'm lost ??

MINNIE
I will ask that you please never use the phrase 'hip and happening' in reference to anything I'm involved with every again

SEBASTIAN
tbh, I regretted it as soon as I sent it

CHRIS
we're still together, seb

CHRIS
just taking a step back from the social media aspect of stuff to give ourselves a chance to breathe, you know?

SEBASTIAN
okay okay good good, deep breaths seb, life is good again

ROBERT
I know we're all actors but why does everyone have to be so dramatic

ANTHONY
and by everyone he means seb but doesn't want it to look like he's singling him out

ROBERT
you're not not right

SEBASTIAN
I dont like Minnie and Chris being quiet alright, it was weird

SEBASTIAN
Minnie Clayton is a lot of things, but quiet online is not one of them

SEBASTIAN
I was unnerved

MINNIE
we're busy people, seb, that's all

MINNIE
this is exactly like reassuring a small child. flashbacks to me reassuring my seven year old sister last night that vampires weren't real

CHRIS
now now, Minnie, c'mon

SEBASTIAN
yEAH MINNIE

CHRIS
don't insult Rosie like that, it's just not fair

SEBASTIAN
oop I spoke too soon

SEBASTIAN
but you guys like definitely aren't breaking up?

MINNIE
no, we're not

SEBASTIAN