DIVE [1; CHRIS EVANS]

XII.

12. TEXTS

DAD
Jasmine, do you have a boyfriend that you never told me about?

MINNIE
Dear god

MINNIE
there's no need for the full name treatment

DAD
there might be, depending on what your answer is

MINNIE
no, I don't have a secret boyfriend

DAD
so you're definitely not dating Chris Evans?

MINNIE
Nope :)

DAD
are you sure

MINNIE
I'd be happy to swear an oath on it

DAD
that means nothing to me

DAD
you always were a sneaky kid

MINNIE
I promise you that I'm not dating Chris Evans, or anyone, for that matter

DAD
twitter thinks otherwise

MINNIE
and twitter is always wrong

MINNIE
but there a whole load of rumours circulating about myself and Chris, there have been for a good half a year now, Dad, so we decided to play up to them a little just for a joke

MINNIE
neither of us are actually interested in each other

DAD
yet

MINNIE
what?

DAD
it sounds like a bad romcom plot, sweetheart, and in those sort of films, one person always ends up with feelings for the other and it goes badly, in the end

DAD
just be careful, is all I'm trying to say

MINNIE
I will be, don't worry

MINNIE
Besides, I think Sebastian is much more invested in the whole thing than myself and Chris are, anyway

DAD
you don't like this sebastian, do you?

MINNIE
dear god no, it'd be like babysitting an overgrown child

DAD
good good, with all the trouble your sister is giving me, I'm glad you're being sensible

MINNIE
Dad, Rosie's seven

DAD
and a real rascal

MINNIE
she's adorable

DAD
so were you at her age, and now look at you

MINNIE
I am hurt.

DAD
oh dear, not a full stop at the end

MINNIE
That's just how hurt I am. You've offended me to the point of grammatical correctness.

DAD
gramatical correctness doesn't sound like a grammatically correct phrase

MINNIE
please no, I just helped Seb through the other end of an existential crisis, not you too