What Concealed Inside

Waiting for Your Call

"Capt, where are you? I've been waiting for you for almost thirty minutes here." I said over the phone. This guy, really. He's so busy lately that making an appointment with him can make anyone have a headache.

"Sorry P', i get caught on a traffic. Be there in about 15 more." He replied in a soft tone. He has this voice which anyone can recognize just by listening  to it.

It's not easy for us to find a spare time like this. We need to deal with our manager, our schedule, his college projects, and so on. So when we have a deal about time we have to make it count.

Captain shows up a few minutes later, covering his face with a mask and a hat. He's still wearing his black and white uniform so he must be heading here straight from the university.

For me, he never change. He's still the same cute chubby cheeked boy that i knew years ago when we were auditioned for our first series. Still the same boy who smiles kindly to me however things get rough.

He opens his mask and sit with me on the dark corner of the restaurant. When do we start to meet in secret anyway? thinking back, i have to blame it on the media. They practically make a news out of our private life, and we can't even move a single finger without anyone posted it on instagram or weibo.

He looks tired, but as tired as he can be, he's always have that superstar aura. He sit back and close his eyes, looks about to fall asleep within a second. I pat his shoulder.

"Want to find some place else? Too crowded here." I ask him.

He sigh and pout. What a lovely pout, he still look like a little boy he was. "So tired P'." He look at me with those innocent eyes. We both fell silent. Luckily i've reserve this room for us using an alias, or else everyone will surround us like a moth to a flame.

"I know, Capt. I know." I squeezed his hand, he didn't refuse. Only to me he can share about everything that happens in his life. I know every ups and down that he has, and like an open book he knows everything about me.

I often wonder what kind of relationship do we have. We're that close, but we're not that close either. Everyone recognize us as a couple, and to tell you the truth i feel at ease when i'm with him. But we're not a couple either, although not once, when we were touching hands or just staring at him, i feel something wrong with my heart.

But hey, we only do what the other guys would do. I admit there were times when we kiss, when we hugged, when we do a lot of things that only a lovers do. But that was just an act. A fanservice to increase our series's ratings. There was really nothing going on those days....but that's a lie.

We were young and we didn't know what kind of feeling we had when we feels a spark in our hearts everytime we look at each other. We had to close our eyes because as soon as our eyes met, it was like a magnet pulls us into the depths of an abyss. An abyss which we welcomed gladly if not for those "cut" screams from the director.

Until now we can never forget those feeling when we touch, and it makes us think twice before we even pat each other's shoulder. Because the same thing will happen, that same old feeling. That Boy Sompob song can very well describe what we're going through when we touch. Dang it.

His eyes flutters open dimly and look at me. "P', what's your next project?" I know he wanted to say something else. He just conceal it in his nice choice of words.

"Are you hungry? i'm ordering you some real food." He's on diet, i know that. Someone doesn't like the chubby old Captain and introduce him a diet regiment. That's what we have to face on a daily basis. Our appearance change the way people wanted us to, until we forget who we used to be. But at the same time, people want us to stay the same. It's so confusing and sometimes makes us feels so depressed.