What Concealed Inside

The Boy With a Silver Sneakers

Noh's POV

I can't believe my ears. Master Phun said what's in his mind, something i never thought he would do. He used to be a very cold person towards me, never say anything other than ordering me what to do.

I don't blame him for anything. Actually i should consider myself lucky that he chose me to be his wife to be. Other carriers may not be as lucky as i am, they might be sold to a very cruel family where they will force him to give birth to a countless offsprings.

We, carriers, were always be protected because of our ability to conceive. In an extreme case our families won't even let us have any formal education to avoid us having any knowledge about the world. It's as if we were living our life for single purpose only, and we don't have any right to refuse.

It's just a futile effort to refuse, since we were born like this. Maybe we were meant to be born as a females, but there were something in our genes that prevents the proccess. Since we were young we were dictated to follow orders. Everyone is our masters, although only one man can be the father of our sons. But if that man displeased by our service he has the right to expell us from his house without anything left from us.

My tears have run dry since a long time ago. My heart voids of emotion, because emotion will cost me so much heartache. It's better to just lock my emotion inside the deepest corner of my heart, wishing that one day it would fade away.

So when today Master Phun touched my hand with his reluctant and trembling fingers, i don't know how to react. I watched him shedding that silver stranded fluid from his usually cold eyes. Why is he shedding that tears? Why is he touching me like that? did he wanted to make child with me already? So many questions spiralling in my head, but i couldn't bring myself to ask him any question.

"Will you love me, Noh?" He asked me. But i don't know what love is, Master. I never feels any from anyone.  How can i love you if i don't know what love is? I clutch my chest where it hurt so much. So very much. No, please, i don't want to feel this way anymore. It's enough, please don't let me hurt like this anymore....please ease my pain...

His hands squeeze mine tenderly, with a strange look in his eyes that i couldn't decipher. Why, Master? What's wrong? did you hurt yourself? I don't want him to get hurt. He's the only one who ever cares about me. Even without his love, it's enough for me to be just by his side. If he hurts, i'll be devastated beyond my limits.

"Please take care of my heart, Phun...I've hurt more than i can bear, so please take care of my heart..."

How i want to call him with that name, the most intimate name i can call him. I do not wish for more than that. I do not dare to wish for more than that. I was down to his laps, the place where i feel so protected and cared for.

Our eyes was locked and couldn't break away from each other. Our hands were interlaced one to another, and everything that i wanted was to get closer to him. My heart beats in a very strange way, pounding so fiercely against my ribcage. It hurts, it hurts so bad, but the last thing i want to do was to stop that beat. It was too beautiful to stop, because here right now, i can see him up close, too close.

He brought his face closer to mine until i can feel his warm and fragrant breath hitting my face like a whisk of air at the dawn. His gaze was so tender and sincere, unwaver, as he close our distance inch by inch.

Trembling, he touched my cheek with the touch of his finger. I couldn't tear my gaze from him because i'm afraid that he would vanish like any other happiness that i know.

Then he touched the my nose with his, his eyes are close and his hands cupped my face. I think my heart was going to burst out, i can hear it weeping tears of happiness.