What Concealed Inside

The Beginning

Captain's POV

What you sow is what you reap, that's what they said. And i reapt what i sow. I was meant to tease P'White by being naked in front of him.(I know he wouldn't have the guts to do anything to me) We're both guys and can handle being stark naked infront of each other, right?

But holy crap..his gear is so 'well endowed' down there it really intimidating me! I thought i was already fully grown up myself but his was a far more 'developed' than mine😰. Maybe that's the reason why he seldom have a shower together in the men's room.

I was so shocked that i didn't realized i was stepping back, and i was nearly fell to the large bathtub and drown if only P' didn't catch me.

My heart beats like crazy when he pulls me closer to him. He hasn't take a bath yet, his manly scent hit my nostril and draws me like a magnet to him. It feels so natural that it frightened me up, if he keep it up i'm afraid i would not be able to control myself.

Then slowly, he kissed me so slowly, its tormenting me. I wanted more, i can never be satiated with only a kiss. But i forced myself to be awake from that dreamy state, and walked away from him. I had to. I still don't know what he wanted from me. If it's just a physical contact, he can easily get it from another person, and he can leave me alone there, no matter heart broken i am. The point is, i don't want to be a just another one of his broken toys.

That's why i asked him my ace question, i asked him how he felt about me. He looked at me and hold my hands firmly, and said to me those words full of promises and sincerity, and he asked me not how i feel about him, but am i ready to get into his life. 
I know who he is, a young master from a wealthy family. He has everything that a man could asked for. He got the looks, he got the cash, and he got the brain. If he has to go from entertainment industry, he'll still be alright. But for me, who's not on that side of luxury, his life style is way out of reach. No matter how i work, i'd still be inferior from him.

His words sounds like he's ready to support me if anything should happen to my career, which is not an option for me. I have a family to take care of, unlike him.

It's my turn to think it over, am i ready for him? Love is real, not some movie which has an ending. There's no such thing as a happy ending in real love, we have to live with the consequences for the rest of our lives.

If what we feel for each other is strong enough, we could overcome any problems. But if we don't, we will end up losing everything. I will lose everything. And i can't afford it.

"If i give my self to you, can you guarantee my safety? P', it's not all about me but my family as well. You see, our society won't tolerate us being together. Actually i feel anxious about their future."

He looked so hurt, like he was punished from doing the greatest crime. I place my arms around his neck, and whisper to his ears clearly.

"P', can i have the book for myself? I you give me that, maybe i can be strong enough to face everything."

He hugged me tight, i can feel him trembling from head to toe holding me. I can feel his weakness, his vulnerability, his fear of losing me, his pure feeling towards me. It was so strong yet so tender, anyone would melt from his affection.

I accept it with so many question in my head. Will we make it? will we even put up a good fight if anything goes wrong? from the beginning, our relationship was never meant to happened but yet it fluorished until this day.

We were so young, we're inexperienced, yet we are willing to give one another our first of everything. And for me, it's worthwhile. If in the end i can have him like this, then everything is worthwhile.