If Only

Chapter 32

Dear Diary,

Today is a great day. Nandito kami ngayon sa Naga for a vacation. I am so happy because I get to spend this special day with my dad, and my sisters and Nathan. Though wala pa si Mommy because she had to take care of some things first sa Manila. Still, once na sumunod na si Mom, it would be our first vacation na complete kami. More so, dito pa sa Naga, my happy place.

Also, I get to meet new people today. I met my cousins from California. They're here for a vacation din so perfect time talaga ito for our family vacation.

Also, I met Mang Kanor's friend's son, Simon, who has the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen...

---------------------------------------------------

Dear Diary,

Terrible. Disaster. Dread. Sorrow. Tragic.  Miserable. Mourn. Despair.

No word can ever express how I feel right now. We buried our source of light. It felt like I buried everything with Mom. It's so hard to go on thinking that I will never see her again, that I will never touch her again, that I will never hug her again... Too many things I wish I have said to her when she was still with us.. Stuffs that I wished I've done for her and with her.

I just really don't know how to go on without her...

---------------------------------------------------

Dear Diary,

It's been almost a year since I have written to you.. Sorry, dear. Our family's been through a lot and it was harder to write about them..

But ang mahalaga, we're now in a better place than before. Well, maybe not better than when Mom was still alive but at least I can finally say that we're finally moving on. Mabagal ang process, but ang importante, doon kami papunta. Eventually...

---------------------------------------------------

Dear Diary,

After almost a year, we're going home!! This will be the first time na uuwi kami ng Naga since Mom died. I hope everything will be fine and fun. Sana we will be able to face Mom's memories in Naga with a smile.. With tears maybe, but importante, nakangiti na kami ulit...

---------------------------------------------------

Dear Diary,

This is an extraordinary day, indeed. Remember when I wrote about Simon? Binasa ko yung mga previous entries and I saw his name which I wrote more than a year ago. And I actually wrote that he has the most remarkable eyes I've ever seen... And he still has, by the way.

Anyway, what's extraordinary about this day is that, I received a letter, an actual love letter... From Simon. Ngayon lang ako nakatanggap ng love letter ever sa buhay ko.. And honestly, I never expected to receive one ever dahil I didn't know na may  mga tao pa pala na ginagawan talaga ng love letter ang mga hinahangaan nila? Oops, medyo nahawa ako sa salita ni Simon. Hehe. Makata kasi siya sa sulat na binigay niya sa akin...

I'm still thinking if I should or should not give him a reply. Susulatan ko rin ba siya? And what will I write??? Hayyyy...

Pero honestly, kinilig ako nang mabasa ko ang sulat niya.. :)

---------------------------------------------------

Dear Diary,