On Love: Agape!!!

Chapter 7

Week 9, April 18th, 2017

The early morning April sun slowly filters through the large window In Viktor and me's room, shines on the glass case that hangs on the wall full of Viktor's Medals, causing them to sparkle. All 30 of them, most gold, but a few silvers and 2 bronze, hung in chronological order of when he won them, brilliantly glitter, bouncing sunlight off of every surface, make the room so bright I don't need to turn on the light. One of the things the light hits is a full-size mirror, which I'm currently standing in front of. I'm scanning every millimeter of my abdomen, looking and searching, like I do every morning, for any sign of the baby. I know that they are inside me, but I'm nearly a quarter through this pregnancy, and there's only so long a person can throw up every morning before they want results that all the suffering isn't for nothing.

My phone buzzes, which cause my eyes glance away from the mirror and down to it. 7:49am. Oh cool, a text from Viktor.

Viktor: Are you awake yet?

Me: I got up about a half hour ago.

Viktor: Good. I don't like accidentally waking you up in the morning. How are you doing? Yurio's more grumpy today than normal.

Me: That sounds fun. You're having him produce his programs right?

Viktor:да, but It's not going well. He's never done this before, and that combined with everything that's been going on lately has made him into a little grouch.

Me: I'd be worried if he wasn't

Viktor: And I as well. What are you doing?

Me: checking for a bump, but so far, no luck.

Viktor: Are you still wearing that t-shirt from when we did the registry last night?

Me: Yea?
Viktor: Well you're clearly not going to be able to spot
anything in that loose of a shirt.

Me: Good Idea, I'll try something else.

So I dig through my drawer for my old practice shirt. And when I find it, just looking at the long-sleeve navy blue -shirt, with its thin white lines lining the sleeves, and It's swooshy logo, make me tear up, and after gripping the shirt in under silence for a minute, I began to sob like crazy. How could it have been 2 entire months since I have even stepped on the ice? Why do I have to give up one love for another, more powerful one? Will I ever practice a skating program again?!

No. I have to keep it together. I'm already 2 months in, only 7 more to go. Then I get to meet the Agape love of my life, Viktor and I's beautiful child. Even though they've only been in existence for 9 weeks (starting today), I already know they are the most purely beautiful thing I will ever see. And I want to see them right now, today! So I pluck up the courage to put it on.

And put it on I do, and I go and stand in front of the mirror, my body facing sideways. I pull my shirt back to make it as tight as possible. I suck in, so my lack of a 6-pack doesn't get confused with the baby.

After scanning and searching and seeking and scouring for what seemed like 300 seconds, I was ready to give up and try again tomorrow, when a small beam of sun drifted through the window, and caught on my ring, Making it sparkle more than all of Viktor's medals. Once I snap my eyes back to the mirror, I nearly cry again, but this time of pure joy.

As small as it was, for the first time in 9 whole weeks I could see what I was throwing up every day for. What I was feeling nauseous 24/7 for. What I have given up my passion for.

I could see the small, undeniable bump that held my child.