Today's chapter is about something that I really don't like which is "Panic Attack". Although I have never been diagnosed with anxiety, nervous breakdown, or any kind of breakdowns to be honest, yesterday I experienced one.
Here's what happened:
I had an important exam in one of my main subjects . I was fine and cool until I started writing my essay. First, I generated ideas, wrote a draft, then I wasn't satisfied with my ideas, the draft, and even the topic. I decided to change the topic, but the problem was that the other topic I wasn't too sure if I can generate ideas even. Then, I decided to write another draft, and ANOTHER draft, until I felt that I running out of time. Finally, I panicked, and it was the worst thing ever. I mean imagine yourself in class trying to calm down, and write an essay, that you have been studying for it for gods knows how many hours, with a heart beating fast, sweaty palms, and adrenaline that will be the death of me.
At this point, I hated myself so much. I felt that I'm unable to do anything; simply I was drowning without trying to survive or utter a word. It was the worst experience I have been through. Ironically, I have lots of friends suffering from this unpleasant feeling, and I was the one who help them getting through this sh*ty feeling. And here I am in the same situation, but I was so weak to help myself. I think I have never been this weak before.
To put my feelings in words: I let myself down.
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My Weekly Life (Complete)
Kurgu OlmayanJust a bunch of crab and ideas that crossed my mind at 3 a.m. ... So don't raise your expectations, or should you?! ;)
