Something different (interacial love) process of editing

Chapter 12

During study hall, I of course go to the secret room only Josiah and I know about and do my work. I try to hurry and finish my homework as fast as I can, because I wouldn't be able to do my work if Josiah happens to come by. I then hear the door open.

Of course, its Josiah.

"I thought you don't come here much? You seem to be here a lot lately. " I say, dropping my pencil and just look at him with a bored look.

He closes the door and goes to sit on his bed."Someone doesn't seem to like me being in my own discovery. He says smiling. "I never had a reason before, but now I do." He says lastly before going behind me and putting a pillow on his head, blocking me and every light in his eyesight. 

"What reason do you have? Me? Am I the reason?" I ask turning back to look at him and no response.

After a few seconds, I hear deep breathing and I know Josiah's asleep. Although I should feel weird about us both being in here like this, I dont. I just pretend he is not here and continue to finish my work. 

 I finally finish 80% of my homework and stretch my arms behind me. While I do that, I hear Josiah taking more deep breaths before exhaling it all out. I look behind me and forgot that he had the pillow over his face, so he must be having a hard time breathing. Out of curiousity, I get up from my seat and walk over to him to take the pillow off so he does not suffocate himself.

When I take it off, I toss it by his feet and he moves his body sideways towards my direction. He just stays asleep, but to see if he wakes up, I clap my hands five times. That did not work one bit. He is still asleep, so I bend over to examine him closely to see if he is really asleep and come across his long eyelashes.I dont even have long eyelashes. I'm kind of jealous. I think, putting the tips of my fingers over them. I then move my tips lightly down his face and at his perfectly aligned nose and stop by his lips. I gulp a little. I never even take the initiative to kiss James, so why would  I want to kiss Josiah?

He opens his eyes and looks confused. Instead of backing up, I still remained standing above him. a few inches from his face. I know he is shocked because his eyes tells it all.

"Sorry." I say beginning to back up and he grabs my hands and sits up in the bed.

"Why.."He pauses, wiping his sleepy eyes and then continues, "Why were you watching me? Is this to get back at me for my stares before?" He asks still holding my hands.

"No, I was just..I didn't mean to. First I was taking off the pillow so you don't die and..I find it weird you woke up to me touching your nose and eye lashes, but not me clapping and...Sorry" I say looking away. 

"You were clapping? He asks with his eyebrows raised up more confused.

"I was trying to annoy you by waking you up, but that clearly did not work and I..." I  say still looking away from him.

I don't know what else to say, so I try remove my hand from his grasps, succeeding until he quickly grabs my face and makes me look at him. "You know, if you wanted to kiss me, you could have just asked instead of making excuses. " He does a smile that just melts my heart.

"I was not trying to kiss you, I just..."  Before I can finish, he kisses me. I am so shocked, I push him away, backing up.

"I never..kissed anyone. I'm not good at it." I say looking away from him.

"I'm kind of happy I beat James to it. However, I am surprised you haven't kissed him yet." He says softly.

He comes towards me and puts his hand on my cheek and pinches me.

"Ow!" I yell and he slowly puts his lips back on to mine and begins kissing me. He carcasses my lips with his, taking it slow, as if he does not want to make me feel inexperienced. He never tries to remove his hands rom my cheek and put it on another part of my body, and I am greatful for that.

Oh gosh, he really can kiss. I want more of it, and I push myself onto him, with my hands on his chest. He then pulls away, which makes me feel rejected. He looks at me and I manage to stare back and then realized that I'm dating James.

"I um...this was a mistake. It's my fault for coming here. I have to go" I say and turn to the table behind me and pack up with my hands trembling. I take whatever I can and try to leave as quickly as possible. Josiah grabs my hands and I yank them back as if I just burned myself and begin towards the door.

"Ana, wait..."

I turn around so fast, my face filled with horror and say,  "Don't ever call me that. My name is Anamarie and I'd pefer that. Just please, never call me that." I plead with him and I leave before he stops me.

I stumble out the door and my bookbag falls with everything inside it falling out of it. I sit on the dirt and wipe the tears forming on my face. I really don't know why I am feeling so sensitive all of a sudden. Josiah comes out and instead of helping me, he walks past me. I just try to ignore him not even trying to help me. But, I know if he tried, I would most likely tell him to leave me alone. 

I just pick everything up and go to the library for the remainder of the period. 

As soon as I get there, people look at me, and its the same people who were there that time I yelled at Josiah. I just breathe in and out and head towards a table, sit down, and lay my head down, with my arms crossed over my head so no one will see me.

What did I do? I never even kissed my own boyfriend and let some dude with a girlfriend who he says she isn't kiss me. Ughh.