Something different (interacial love) process of editing

Chapter 16

The next day, I slept until 12 and James calls me to tell me he is at the hospital with his little brother, who has pneumonia.

He sounded frustrated  and told me his Lana just left him yesterday to go out with friends, which made him so angry that he hasn't talked to her. He tells me he doesn't know if he will be in school Monday, but will call me so we can talk.

Later on, I go on the computer and log on to my facebook account. Josiah messaged me on five minutes after I log on and we start to talk about school, soccer, and what we are doing.  He asks for my phone number so we can just talk on the phone instead of messaging. I tell him my number and receive a call a few seconds later.

"Hey." He says smoothly.

"Hi." I plainly say.

"No need to act shy. We have talked to each other before." He says laughing.

"Whatever, I am not shy. It is just weird that we are talking to each other on the phone. Don't you think the same?" 

"Eh, not really. I am more of just excited that I even get to talk to a royal person as yourself.I never thought you would give me your number" He is smiling and I can tell.

"Ha..ha, very funny. What do you want?" 

 "Wow a lady of short conversation, I see. Actually, I want to talk about us. If there is an us." He sounds more serious.

"Oh..right...us." I say scratching my head.

"I know you and James are in a relationship, but I think you are not even supposed to be together. I mean look at us. We kissed twice, not like I am counting, but I don't think people who have kissed that many times have no feelings for each other or should not be together."

"Three times."

"What?" He sounds confused.

"We kissed three times, not that I was counting." Copying him and contine, "But you're the first guy I have ever kissed. " I say holding my curl from my hair in between my fingers

Josiah just starts laughing and I am so embarrassed, I do not even say anything and just wait for him to stop and he doesn't. He continues and I just wonder what is so funny about that. 

"Okay, it's not even funny." I feel a little annoyance building up.

"I'm laughing because you're cute. You actually paid attention to that."He says and we stay quiet until he speaks again,"So what are we gonna do? Should we just be friends? I would just hate to get in between you two and I don't want you to be labeled a cheater. "

"I don't know. I really don't want to hurt him, but I would still be labeled as a whore if I just break up with him and move on to you. It just isn't right Josiah." I realized I am still standing in the computer room and go straight to my room and lay on my bed.

I hear him sigh and I think I may actually want to be with this boy, but then I realized I do not even know him, except his lips and how soft they are and they cherry taste that he gives out when we kiss.

"Josiah. I...don't even know how the two of us could even be together if we don't know each other."  I say slowly.

"We can take our time and learn more about each other at school or hang out together." He is trying and I appreciate that.

"That is not even realistic, because Kayla will be out to kill me and you won't even stop her."

"I..." He doesn't have anything to say about the last part, which I suspect since he never says anything to Kayla when she's bullying someone.

"I don't mind the friendship, I really don't, but I know we can never be that way because everytime I see you with Kayla, I envy her or I am jealous of her. Everytime I am alone with you, I want to kiss you so bad.I..I just don't know what to do , but in the end, I will still be the bad guy."

"What makes you a bad person when you want to be with someone whom you like? Is that so wrong?" He says almost sadly.

"But I told James I thought I liked him and that's why I agreed to date him."

"Key word:Thought. You didn't want to hurt him so you maybe just told yourself you liked him. And I have to admit he is a cool, friendly, and warm person and I can see why he can be a likable person, but I am sure you never once thought of him as more than friends."

I stay quiet knowing what all of Josiah said is just so true. Every last word is true. "I just...I am confused and I feel bad for everything." I feel as if I am about to cry.

"Ana..Anamarie I mean. I really think I like you and if you think Kayla is a problem don't worry and I know you already are thinking of James and I understand.  I just want you to be happy and whatever choice you make, I will be willing to follow. "

We talked a little bit longer and changed the subject from something so melancholic to something cheerful and talked about funny things. After, we both said our goodbyes.

I already knew that from that moment I allowed Josiah to kiss me for the first time in the secret room, that I could never go back. I could never go back to getting closer to james, could never allow him to kiss me on the lips, could never tell Sam or Kayla. This thing between us will have to always remain a secret. Should I break up with James and go for Josiah, who I know has Kayla on his side, who will  most likely want to kill me. Or should I restrain myself from Josiah, returning to our original purpose, which where we shared only a few words to each other?

I think I know what I want to do.