Something different (interacial love) process of editing

Chapter 20.

The rest of the day, I try not to think about Josiah and it is a little hard, because everytime I let my mind drift, Josiah comes right into my head, and I just  picture his beautiful smile, with his dimples that make me want to poke them, his nice soft hair, his manly built. I just try to focus on what my teachers are telling me for the rest of the periods, and I kind of succeed at not thinkingo of him.

Is he trying not to think of me, the same way I am not trying to think of him but can't help it? I wonder.

****

After school, James walks me to conditioning and to my surprise the boys and girls soccer team are scattered around the bleachers and they are all engaged with something, whether it is talking to one another, laughing, or throwing the soccer balls to one another. 

James pulls my hand so I can pay attention to him and says,"So I'll see you after practice. I might finish my practice early and come to watch the rest of your practice. After I can take you home. So you can tell your mom not to worry about her having to pick you up, alright?" He says lastly before trying to kiss my lips and I look at him and I instantly avoid his lips trying to find mines and he looks hurt. I have not even allowed him to kiss me and its already been a month and two weeks. I don't look at him and he just settles for my cheek, looking at me one final time and goes to practice.

I look up at the bleachers and see Josiah and Kayla sitting with his arm around her. I feel a stab to my heart I am a little hurt that he does not seem to be as hurt as I am of not continuing whatever we had going on.

I go to sit on the other side of Josiah and Kayla, making sure I make no contact with any of them. Coach comes at that moment and calls Kayla down.

Kayla turns and pecks Josiah on the lips before practically skipping down the bleachers happily, which annoys me.

Josiah smiles at her and turns to look my way, which his smile disappears and he turns back quickly towards coach and Kayla.

"So today the boys will be joining us since their coache's wife gave birth to their first baby girl." Coach says.

All of a sudden,  all the boys and girls start cheering, "yeah!"

"Okay, shutup all of you. We will not be with the boys so you all can fool around. There will be a scrimmage match between boys and girls. Of course we will use this a a chance to see if you girls have gotten better." Cosch says seriously.

"What is the point in doing that? We are going to beat them anyway." A cocky senior boy says. I roll my eyes and now all the girls look his direction, a little angry of what he said, and continue to scowl at him as if they are going to beat him up and eat him alive.

"We accept your challenge. Girls let us show them what we got. Win or lose." Kayla yells out to the girls and they all yell in agreement, getting off the bleachers and go to line up beside her, facing the boys excitedly, ready for the game.

I, on the other hand, decide to go down the bleachers last and the sad part is I have to walk in front of Kayla to get to the end of the line. As I finally get down, I begin passing Kayla, and she puts her leg out and I trip over her, falling to the gravel, scrapping my knees and everyone laughs.

I quickly get up and make sure I am not bleeding, which I am not and glower at her and she just smiles. I wipe my knees and go all the way to the end of the line and look up at Josiah, who is looking down at me with a hand to his face, covering a smile that is beginning to form on his face. Now I am angry.

How could he just sit there and laugh at me? What a jerk.

Now that we have nothing to do with each other, he is back to following her like some animal- it is not like he never stopped doing that. Even when we were interested in each other, he would still go to her at her command, and watch as she made fun of people, including me.

When we get on the field in our positions, Kayla and I are forwards and Josiah and Travis are forwards on their side. Kayla and Josiah are both smiling at each other, and I feel like throwing up.

Kayla then looks at me looking at them and she mouths "What are you looking at?" I ignore her and the game begins.

***

The score is 4 to 0. We are losing to the boys, and Kayla is getting really mad, blaming me for everything. I just ignore her, and she when she has the ball she does not pass it to me, but goes towards the net.

"What are you doing? This is team work!" I yell out to her. She continues to ignore me and I decide to just let her go by herself to the net, and a defender takes the ball, and kicks it up to Josiah, who then dribbles our whole team and scores.

"Are you freakin kidding me? You stupid idiot! Why did you not help me out?"Kayla comes in my face, yelling and everyone stops the game to watch us.

"Really? You were hogging the ball,  so don't come and get mad at me." I say, tired and not wanting to fight.

One of our defenders kick the ball up towards us so we can start the game. Instead of wanting to start the game, she picks it up and slams it into my face. I fall to the ground, screaming and holding my face, rolling on the ground with pain.

Everyone comes my way and stand over me,  asking me if I am okay, and I have tears coming out my eyes. No one bothered to yell at Kayla as to why she did that. But, of course, everyone seems to be afraid of the witch.

Someone finally comes and trys to pull my hands apart and I try to push the person away, hoping that it was Josiah, but it happens to be James.  I then give up and let him pick me up off my feet and takes me to the infirmary.

I take one last look over at everyone who was around me, and they all get back to the game, and Josiah is laughing with Kayla about something before starting again.

He didn't even care if she hurt me. I turn my head into James chest and begin crying. If I knew it was going to be this hard. I wouldn't have told Josiah to end things with me.