--Six time award winning novel by June D. Silver-
"Hidden truths are unspoken lies"
As a straight A student, Finnley never got himself into trouble. He goes to school, runs track, hangs out with his two best friends Cristian and Emma and studies; a...
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- Tuesday, March 29th, 2016 -
– 2 months after the disappearance –
Never in my life have I been scared to go to school. But right now, staring at the Facebook post containing a picture of me and Stan, I'm frightened to death. Janet posted it yesterday in the evening, while I was with Stan. It's Julia who called to tell me about it. How could Emma do this to me? Sure, I know she doesn't like Stan. But she shouldn't have betrayed me like this. She was the only one who knew about me hanging out behind the locker rooms with Stan. She must have warned Janet.
The picture shows me and Stan, kissing behind the locker rooms. It's taken yesterday. The kiss didn't even last longer than a couple of seconds before I pushed him off and told him not to do that in public.
But here we are; out, but not so proud.
I feel sick to my stomach only thinking about the consequences of this.
My whole life is such a mess right now.
I don't want to like Stan the way I do, but I can't help it; I just do. It's like every time he's around me my mind is blurred; my legs feel like puddy and all I think about is kissing him. It shouldn't feel wrong to be with him. It doesn't even feel wrong anymore. On the contrary, it feels totally right. But the judgement, the public opinion about being gay, is what keeps me from blurting this all out.
I eventually leave the house without seeing – or speaking to – my parents. I decide on taking the bike to school, since I don't want to sit in the bus all by myself while others probably already saw this picture.
It takes everything in my power to go on and arrive at school instead of just turning around and lock myself in my room.
Everything is fine while I place my bike in the shed, everything is okay while I walk towards the entrance and to my locker. Not much people pay attention to me, and the few that do, mostly smile at me.
But the second I round the corner and look towards my locker, Jaimie and Evan are there, staring right at me. Jaimie seems confused, Evan insecure.
"Cris?" Jaimie speaks, the second I'm within hearing range. "Tell me it's just a manipulated picture."
I swallow and look down to my feet.
"Please, tell me it's not what it looks like." He grabs my arm and turns me around so that I am now facing him. Tom appeared beside Evan, staring at me in disgust.
"It's not?" It's more of a question than it is a statement.
"So, you're not gay?"
"No..." I look down again.
"Cris, you can't be gay." Jaimie lets out an awkward laugh, before the silence continues. This is the most awkward conversation I've ever had.
"He came onto me..." I lie. I damn well know I lead him on in that moment. "He kissed me and I shoved him off." Continue with the lie, save your reputation. Don't become an outcast.
