--Six time award winning novel by June D. Silver-
"Hidden truths are unspoken lies"
As a straight A student, Finnley never got himself into trouble. He goes to school, runs track, hangs out with his two best friends Cristian and Emma and studies; a...
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- Friday, April 29th, 2016 -
– 3 months after the disappearance –
I guess it takes about four weeks to completely lose yourself, depending on what happens around you and how quick people are there to take advantage of your instability. It's been a month since I came out. It's also been a month since I last received a note from Finnley.
Never have I felt this lost in my life. The radio silence coming from Finnley put me in a state of despair. What if something happened since he last send me a note? I'm simply a wreck, living from day to day on autopilot.
I'm happy to have Felix, Julia and Stan to support me or else I wouldn't be standing here in school right now, watching Jaimie getting yelled at by our gym teacher for hitting Jasper with a basketball in the face. Which he did deliberately.
Since I'm no longer part of his group of friends I've been observing them from a distance and I came to the conclusion Jaimie is a dick and so is Tom. Evan is ok, since he isn't doing any bad stuff. But he's just as bad for standing there, laughing about it.
I was a part of that not too long ago. Have I been a bully for years without realizing it? Is this how Jaimie always acted?
I feel terrible ever since I noticed just how bad they really are. I'm actually really glad I'm no longer part of that. Not that I've ever been in the midst of it. I mostly hung out with Finnley or Emma, or both. But I was there on the side-line, hanging out with them during classes or after school.
And now I'm part of a small group of social outcasts, with less friends than countable on one hand.
I don't miss them as I watch Jaimie leave the gym, or watching Tom and Evan in their fit of laughter. But I do miss having people to hang out with each and every day. I do miss it to be looked up to. For people to admire me for being great at soccer. I hate feeling so alone and I keep wondering; if Finnley was still here, would I feel as lonely as I do right now? Or would he be enough?
I slump down on a bench after walking to it, feeling shitty and depressed.
"You okay?" Felix jogs up to me, kneeling in front of me. "Your head again?"
"No..." I sigh. "I just feel shitty, you know..."
Felix follows my glance towards Jasper and nods. "Jaimie's lost it." He responds. "Don't pay attention to them." He takes a seat beside me on the bench. "His parents are divorcing and he's acting out ever since they told him."
"It doesn't give him the right to treat people this way." I mutter, leaning my head on the palm of my hands.
"Evans, Jackson, 10 laps, no exception." Mr. Jankowski yells at us.
"Let's lie okay?" I mutter, leaning my head further down, grabbing it with both my hands.
Felix smirks carefully, nodding, putting his hand on my back and leaning forward to look at me. "Bad headache, huh?" He sounds amused.
