--Six time award winning novel by June D. Silver-
"Hidden truths are unspoken lies"
As a straight A student, Finnley never got himself into trouble. He goes to school, runs track, hangs out with his two best friends Cristian and Emma and studies; a...
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- Friday, May 13th, 2016 -
– 3,5 months after the disappearance –
I stayed in the playground for about half an hour after Finnley left, taking in the spot I last saw him in, thinking about the short conversation we shared. It took every last piece of willpower to not listen to my own mind and run after him. I promised and he asked me to trust him; so, I do.
I went home after that, falling asleep on the couch since I was completely exhausted. I dreamed about the meeting, only we never met in my dreams. I kept on searching for him, waiting for him to show up; but he never did.
I woke up with tears still streaming down my face, thinking I dreamed all of it, feeling worse than ever.
It's his note to ask me to build a sandcastle that reminds me we did indeed meet, we did talk, and I did kiss him. It takes a while for me to fully realize is wasn't a dream; it was reality and I had felt complete with him in my arms.
Evidently, I feel as shit as possible to not have him with me during school, or any other activity I'm in during the days that follow.
The biggest dilemma right now, is breaking up with Stan. Because that kiss with Finnley made me realize I'm not in love with Stan, I just like the attention, I like him treating me like I'm the most important in the world, but he doesn't give me the same feeling Finnley did by just one simple kiss.
Maybe Emma was right, and I did try to replace Finnley with Stan. The only difference is the fact Stan actually seduced me and asked me to be his boyfriend, while Finnley kept his flirting to innocent hinting.
Stan may have made me realize I am in fact attracted to boys on a much bigger scale than I would have ever thought; he's just not the one.
And that very fact caused us to fight and I'm too afraid to actually break up with him. I tried to tell him, but he kind of lost it and right now, he's pacing up and down in front of me, while we're outside, in front of school. He's obviously trying to hold back on the shouting, since there's a couple of people around us and I don't think he'd want their attention with the risk of being dumped publicly.
"You're not breaking up with me, are you?" Stan eventually stops pacing around, staring at me with dark eyes.
"Eeh..." I should be a man about this, but something in his posture scares me. Don't think of me as a dickhead for doing this during school; he kept asking about it, demanding an answer right there on the spot about my change in behaviour. "I just don't feel like I love you enough to be with you." I admit while staring towards my hands, who are trembling because of the nerves going through me.
The thing is, Finnley did tell me Stan is a puppet in something big. Something that has to do with his disappearance. Although, Finnley is obviously free to leave when it pleases him, since he was able to meet me at the playground.
