Maybe Then...

Chapter 47: if I'd stop pitying myself

If I'd stop pitying myself,

Maybe then, I could get over it

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Resting back into our seats, I took a deep breath while we both processed what happened.

"Well that just happened," he said dumbly. He was leaning back in his seat, staring at the car ceiling above him.

"Yeah," I breathed, turning my head to look at him a little more.

A bright blush crept up his cheeks. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that, I just..." He sighed. "I'm sorry."

"No, it's okay." I shifted the rest of my body to face him, propping myself up with an arm. "Dan's gonna kill us, though, isn't he?"

A small laugh escaped his lips. "Yeah, probably." We became silent for a moment. "We're not gonna tell him what happened, right?"

He didn't even finish what he was saying before I said, "Nope."

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"Okay, I double checked with Rory," Daniel announced on Thursday afternoon, "and she confirmed that we'll be, for sure, playing at the barbeque!"

"Tell your girlfriend I said 'thanks,'" Dolan told him.

Dan gave him a bored look. "She's not my girlfriend."

"Yet," Kyle finished for him.

"Then all that's left to get together will be Cooper and Amelia," Dolan added, twirling the drumsticks in his hands.

I had to remind myself how to breathe for a moment. I was afraid that any attempt to say something witty would result in them suspecting something, so I just rolled my eyes.

"That jokes getting old," Dan said.

I can think of something else you might find funny.

I looked over at Cooper, who was sitting stiffly, his face pale as a sheet.

I decided to take hold of the conversation and change the subject. "So are we gonna practice, or what?"

They seemed a bit surprised by my sudden motivation to get on with it, but to my relief, didn't protest. We all wanted to make sure we had it done before tomorrow.

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We'd rehearsed our set list so many times that I knew the notes by heart. I couldn't name the notes off the tip of my tongue, but I could readily play them off the tips of my fingers. So to say the least, I was confident that I would at least do a mediocre job Friday night. The day of the performance, however, was a different story.

I was so nervous I couldn't keep my foot still the entire time we spent setting up. I was always either pacing around or tapping my toes with anticipation. I was nervous every other performance before this one, but this was different. Some of the crowd would be made up of people who will go to my new school. Our last venue had kids who went to my school, yes, but this time, the parents would be there, too. People of all ages from the party hosts' neighborhood were invited, and since parents were invited, our parents were coming.

For the first time, grandpa would see me perform with the band. "You'll do fine," he kept reassuring me. I didn't even have to voice my worries to him, because like a good parent, he could usually tell when I was worried about something. "I've heard you play before, you're a natural!"