Random Crack Fics of Wings of Fire, Guns N' Roses, & Mötley Crüe

On the Third Day of Christmas...

On the third day of Christmas, my true love sent to me, three cocoa freaks, two bickering singers, and an Axl in a pine tree.

"Are we gonna put the Christmas lights up today?" Steven looks out the window.

"Heck yeah, it's like fifty degrees!" Duff shouts.

"YESSS!" Steven runs outside and Duff follows.

"Oh  my god." Vince points at the T.V., "Look at that lipstick. Look at it."

Nobody cares about the lipstick.

"I SAID LOOK AT THIS!" Vince literally picks up the the T.V. and shoves it in Nikki's face, "See it now?"

"Yeah, I see it."

"I want this. Get me this. ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS THIS LIPSTICK! IF YOU DO NOT GET IT I WILL SACRIFICE YOU ALL TO THE GLITTER GODS!"

"Are you sure you want that?" Mick points at the glitter lipstick commercial, "It's for, like, eight year old girls."

"I think he is an eight year old girl." Tommy whispers.

"True that." Nikki watches Vince run around the the living room holding the T.V. in the air screeching nonsense.

The commercial ends and the news announces a massive snowstorm heading their way right before Vince rips the plug out of the wall outlet

"That's weird..." Axl says.

"Duff, Steven, get back inside. Vince, put the T.V. down."Izzy orders and Vince sticks his tongue out at Izzy and smashes the T.V.

"YOU STUPID MORON!" Axl slaps Vince right across the face, "WHY WOULD YOU SMASH OUR T.V.?!"

"THAT HURT! YOU MEANIE!" Vince rubs the handprint on the side of his face.

"Now we have no idea when the snowstorm's gonna hit us! You might not get the lipstick!" Nikki threatens

"OH NO! SORRY! PLEASE DON'T PUT ME ON THE NAUGHTY LIST!"

"I SEE THE STORM IS GETTING CLOSERRRRRRRR! AND ALL MY FRIENDS SAID I WAS HIGHHHHHHHHH" Axl sings

"AHHH!" Duff screams, "I THINK THE SNOWSTORM'S HERE!"

They peek out the window and see three feet of snow has already fallen on Duff and Stevie.

"S-SO C-COLD! THIS MUST BE WHAT IT'S LIKE INSIDE MICK'S HEART!" Steven shivers and Duff pulls him out of the snow and into the house.

"HOW THE FIRETRUCK DID THIS EVEN HAPPEN!?" Duff caterwauls and Mother Nature  pops out from behind the Christmas Tree.

"YOU DID THIS!" Duff points.

"Yes I did! Because I want to! Adios suckers!" She disappears in a plume of pine needles and flowers.

"WHY ARE THERE PEOPLE RANDOMLY APPEARING AND DISAPPEARING! I AM SO CONFUSED!" Tommy throws his arm in the air.

"HOT COCOA!" Slash and Izzy shout in unison.

"I'LL GET THE MARSHMALLOWS!" Mick runs off to the kitchen.

"That was even weirder than the snowstorm..." Vince says

"I'LL GET THE COCOA MIX!" Axl charges off with Mick.

"What in the literal heck in goin' on?" Duff follows them, "THEY ARE MAKING HOT COCOA TOGETHER!"

"Oh my god." Tommy's eyes go wide and he whispers "They've been possessed by elves..."

"That's the weirdest thing I'll hear all day." Nikki peeks into the kitchen, "And that's the weirdest thing I'll see all day."

"STOP THROWING MARSHMALLOWS AT ME!" Axl waves a wooden spoon in the air.

"I REFUSE!" Mick tosses other one into the air, hitting himself on the head.

"STOP IT"

"NO!"

"STOOOOOP!"

"NEVA!"

"THEN AIM FOR MY MOUTH!"

"No, that's the weirdest thing you'll hear all day." Vince facepalms and Mick is still throwing marshmallows.

"WHEN IT'S DONE CAN WE HAVE A HOT COCOA PARTY? IT'S LIKE A TEA PARTY BUT WITH HOT COCOA!" Izzy screams

"O-M-G IZZY! YOU'RE A GENIUS!" Axl cheers.

"DID WE ALL JUST BECOME BEST FRIENDS!?" Mick screams.

"WE DID!" Izzy squeals.

"DO WE NEED A EXORCIST OR SOMETHING?" Vince throws his hands on his head.

"HE'S BEEN POSSESSED BY STEVEN!" Duff caterwauls, horrified.

"OR WORSE! LITTLE CHILDREN!" Slash shakes the bassist who screams like a girl.

"AS BOTH STEVEN AND A LITTLE CHILD, WHAT THE FUDGE DO I DO!?"

"WE HAVE TO EVACUATE! WOMEN AND CHILDREN OTHER THAN STEVEN AND LITTLE ONES FIRST! VINCE, TOMMY! HURRY!" Nikki throws the door open and a bunch of snow pours in, "WELL CRAP! WE'RE STUCK IN HERE WITH CRAZY PEOPLE!"

"ONE OF US! ONE OF US! ONE OF US!" The hot cocoa freaks start chanting.

"YOU'LL NEVER GET ME ALIVE MOTHERTRUCKERS!" Vince takes off and Mick pelts him with marshmallows.

"OUT OF AMMO! OUT OF AMMO!" The guitarist waves the empty plastic bag in the air.

You guys have no idea how much I love coming up with things that totally contradict their personalities.

Like Duff cooking and being a neat freak. Or Mick being totally insane over hot cocoa. And also poor Tommy being an Idiot. I sometimes feel bad about the Tommy one though. My favorite that I've ever come up with is Nikki and Izzy being mortified of needles, so many songs wouldn't exist...And Axl being a total sweetheart sometimes.

I'm done boring you with random stuff now.