Random Crack Fics of Wings of Fire, Guns N' Roses, & Mötley Crüe

On the Second Day of Christmas...

On the second day of Christmas my true love sent to me, two bickering singers and an Axl in a pine tree.

"I like the sparkly ornaments better." Vince stares at the glitter that covers his hands.

"We see that." Duff says, wrapping the tree in gold lights like Mick asked.

"Don't the gold lights match better."  Mick gives Duff a told ya so glare

"DECK THE HALLS WITH BASS GUITARS FALALALALALALALALA" Nikki screams in an off key  high-piched voice, then chucks his bass a cross the room and straight into the fireplace...

"THAT ALMOST KILLED ME!" Slash leaps up to avoid the flying instrument.

"WHO CARES ABOUT YOU?! WHAT ABOUT MY BASS?!"

"Just ask Santa for a new one!" Tommy suggests in a cheerful tone.

"He really still believes in Santa?" Izzy whispers to Mick, who nods in response.

Izzy takes Tommy's wishlist, which reads:

Dear Santa, I want new drums for Christmas. I want one of your elves and maybe a reindeer. AND MOST OF ALL I WANT MY BESTEST FRIENDS TO BE MY BESTEST FRIENDS FOR EVER!!!!!!

-Tommy

His letter is complete with a stick figure drawing of Mötley Crüe at the bottom a bunch of heart stickers and almost all the R's are backwards.

"This...is...so...pure..." Izzy stares at the wishlist in his hand.

"NOT SO FAST!" Slash takes the note from Izzy, "ALL THE BOLDED LETTERS ADD UP TO 'I WANT MONEY!' "

"OH MY GOD!" Nikki pats Tommy on the head, "MY TERROR TWIN WROTE IN CODE! VINCE YOU OWE ME TEN BUCKS!"

"For what?" Vince opens his arms in a vague gesture.

"Remember the bet we made in 1981 that T-bone over there had more than one brain cell..."

"That was forever ago, how do expect me to remember stuff like that?"

"Very funny, hand it over!"

"HEY! I HAVE MORE THAN ONE BRAIN CELL!" Tommy yells with his drumsticks up his nose and a stocking on his head.

"TOMMY! YOU WANNA SEND A VIDEO TO SANTA?!" Steven holds a video camera in the air.

"Put the camera down!" Nikki orders.

Steven ignores him and sets up the camera on a trifold in front of the fireplace, fueled by the charred remains of Nikki's bass. He pulls the other drummer into the shot.

"Hi Santa! It's Steven and Tommy! Hopefully we're on the nice list!" Steven cheerily introduces.

"I'm not!" Vince says and Tommy starts giggling immaturely.

"Stop giggling!" Steven grabs a lock of Tommy's hair and tugs on it. He immediately tries to stifle his laughter.

The two drummers tell the camera what they want.

A sudden commotion on the stairs makes Tommy turn the camera to the stairs. Axl's holding a hair straighter and is trying to keep it away from Vince.

"HANDS OFF GIRLY! MY STRAIGHTENER! YOU HAD NO RIGHT TO TOUCH MY STUFF!" Axl nearly hits Vince in the head with it.

"THAT'S MINE! YOU'RE SUCH A LIL' WHINEY BRAT!"

"SHUT UP!" The redhead blocks Blondie and sends him thudding down the stairs.

"YOU BRUISED MY BUTT!"

"Oh boo hoo." Axl snarls before rushing up the stairs with the straightener.

"THAT HURT!" Vince cries.

"Hey guys!" Izzy holds up a blue candy cane that's been licked to a sharp point, "What do you call it when someone kills someone with a candy cane?"

He pauses for a second, "Ho-ho-homicide!"

Mick slaps him right across the face.

"Your lips are blue." Duff points

"I know." He makes kissy faces.

"I got blue lipstick, want some?" Vince offers, "But I don't like you, so never mind."

This chapter is kinda random, bear with me okay.