Random Crack Fics of Wings of Fire, Guns N' Roses, & Mötley Crüe

On the Eighth Day of Christmas

On the eight day of Christmas my true love sent to me, eight no's from Izzy, seven broken things, six broken lights, five popcorn strings, four shattered snow globes, three cocoa freaks, two bickering singers, and an Axl in a pine tree.

"DUFFY! DUFFY! DUFFYYYY!" Tommy screams at, like, six A.M.

"GO TO SLEEP TOMMY!"

"BUT VINCE WENT ON ANOTHER MIDNIGHT FRIDGE RAID!"

"YOU TOO VINCE!"

Instead of a complaint from him, a  scream loud thud is heard.

"THE MURDERERS GOT VINCE!" Steven throws his bedroom door open and runs downstairs and turns the lights, "NEVER MIND! HE'S FINE! HE FELL THROUGH THE GAP IN THE RAILING STAIRS! BUT THERE'S CHOCOLATE ALL OVER HIS FACE!"

"Shhh..." Vince whispers, "Don't tell him, but it's Axl's..."

Being oblivious to the fact that everyone is standing right behind him, Axl hears it.

"FIGHT ME VINCENT!" Axl charges down the stairs and rams into Vince, sending him flying across the room.

"Leave me alone." Mick looms out of nearby shadows.

The singers stop dread in their tracks.

Axl quickly reaches over and digs around in Nikki's hair.

"QUIT IT! LEAVE MY HAIR ALONE!"  He tries to swat Axl away.

Axl retrieves the missing fork and takes a jab at Mick, who doesn't flinch.

"I HAVE A FORK AND I'M NOT AFRAID TO USE IT!"

"SO MY HAIR REALLY CAN'T EAT FORKS!?" Nikki drops onto his knees, "WHY OH WHY MUST LIFE BE SO CRUEL!?"

"You're the only sane one here. Help." Mick hisses to Izzy.

"No! Your bassist, your problem."

Steven makes a tally mark on his hand.

"Now I see why no one likes you..." Mick growls.

"PEOPLE LIKE ME!"

"SHUT UP! YOU'RE BOTH WALKING CANS OF GROUPIE REPELLENT!" Slash retorts.

"NO! GIRLS LIKE ME!"

Steven makes another tally mark.

"They really don't..." Tommy pipes up.

"WHAT DO YOU KNOW!? YOU HAVE HALF A FREAKING BRAIN!" 

"YOU'RE SO MEAN, IZZY!" Nikki hugs his insulted Terror Twin, "And I heard it as 'No girls like me!'"

"No! No! No!"

Steven makes  a fifth tally mark.

"GLITTER!?" Vince wipes all the cake crumbs off his face.

"There is no glitter, you nut loaf!" Izzy shouts as Duff tries to put a straight jacket on him. Steven makes a sixth mark.

After a good five minuets of wrestling Vince, they throw him into the closet and close the door.

"He's insane." Slash states the obvious.

"No joke!" Izzy laughs, "Hey Vince."

"What? Are you gonna let me out?"

"THERE'S NO GLITTER!" 

"WHY!?"

Steven makes the final two tally marks, "I dunno, cuz there's not..."