On the ninth day of Christmas my true love sent to me nine secret santas, eight not from Izzy, seven broken things, six broken lights, five popcorn strings, four shattered snow globes, three cocoa freaks, two bickering singers, and an Axl in a pine tree.
"BUT WHAT ABOUT REAL SANTA!?" Steven tugs on Duff's arm.
"Steven, no! We're doing Secret Santa AND THAT IS FINAL!" Duff tries to swat him away.
"BUT IF WE GIVE PRESENTS TO EACH OTHER WHAT'S REAL SANTA GONNA DO?!" Tommy grabs Duff's other arm.
"It gives him two less kids to worry about!"
"We'll if it's less work for him..." Steven hesitates, "Fine, sign us up."
"See, all better."
"Are they still trying to persuade you to not do Secret Santa?" Axl asks with food in his mouth.
"MANNERS!" Izzy screams.
"Thank you..." Duff takes Slash's hat and dumps a bunch of paper slips into it.
"GIMMIE MY HAT BACK!" Slash yanks the hat from him and pours the papers into Izzy's hat.
Izzy doesn't care.
"Everyone, take a piece of paper."
"We know how Secret Santa works, Duff." Nikki reaches in and nods.
"WAIT! I DON'T WANT TO END UP WITH AXL OR IZZY!" Vince charges down the stairs grabs one, "AW CRAP!"
"Let me see..." Axl retrieves his slip of paper, "No one from Mötley Crüe, no one from Mötley Crüe, SERIOUSLY?!"
"YES I GOT ONE OF MY BESTIES!" Steven waves the paper in the air.
"Aw, you're lucky, I got Mr. Grumpy Pants..." Tommy sighs.
"Wow, clever nickname for me, Tom." Mick crosses his arms.
"It's not you..."
"Yeah right."
"Hey guys," Vince says, "Where are we gonna get the presents."
"I was thinking we go to the mall tomorrow." Duff gives Izzy his hat back.
"WE CAN'T GO TO THE MALL!" Nikki screams, "LAST TIME WE WENT ALTOGETHER VINCE THREW ALL THE GLITTER ON THE FLOOR AT HOBBY LOBBY AND MADE GLITTER ANGELS! IZZY HID UNDER THE TABLES AT STARBUCKS AND HIT PEOPLES' FEET! TOMMY AND STEVEN STOLE FRIES FROM PEOPLE AT MCDONALD'S, AND MICK--
"You went to every makeup store there, and bought everything." Mick interrupt him.
"SHUT UP! AND YOU SCARED LITTLE CHILDREN!"
"Steven and Tommy don't count!"
"Yeah they do! Just look at them!" Nikki points at the two drummers, who are happily singing Christmas Carols.
Fun fact: Hobby Lobby first opened in 1972, Starbucks first opened in 1971, and McDonald's first opened in 1955.
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Random Crack Fics of Wings of Fire, Guns N' Roses, & Mötley Crüe
FanficThis is literally just a random book that combines all my fandoms into one. Credit to @JpRafol for giving me this idea. Guns N' Roses: Axl Rose, Slash, Duff Mckagan, Izzy Stradlin, and Steven Adler. Mötley Crüe: Vince Neil, Mick Mars, Nikki Sixx, a...
