The Girl That No One Noticed...

Chapter 58

                                                    Sang

I had a nightmare. I had been snuggled up between my sweet Superman and my protective North Star when it happened. They had been quick to comfort me and get me to calm down long enough so I could get back to sleep, but now that I was awake and staring at myself in the bathroom mirror I couldn't get it out of my head. Last night my nightmare wasn't about Her or HIM, last night was something entirely different that had North wanting to punch Sean, although I quickly talked him out of that one.

 Last night my nightmare was about a little boy with no face, no identity. A little boy that had been hurt with no one to save him, someone with younger twin siblings that loved him and lost him. I couldn't seem to stop thinking of Brock and Angela's older brother, I didn't know what the kid had looked like or what his name had been but that only seemed to make the loss hurt more somehow. I didn't know what it was that had my heart aching to go back in time for this one kid when there were so many more in similar places. 

Maybe it was the feeling of kinship and the knowledge of what it was liked to be hurt by those you thought were suppose to love you the most, or perhaps it was the strong connection I felt to Brock that had me thinking about all of this. Then I was thinking of that room full of kids that had come from backgrounds that were much less than stellar. Thinking how they had been saved but they still knew the hurt of this world, something no one of such a young age should have to go through. The Academy was helping them in whatever ways it could and I found myself thinking of all the times Phil had mentioned giving me a position, how I turned down the chance to help people like me. 

I had always wanted to join but had never voiced such thoughts, I had been afraid to cause more harm than good but seeing those kids had my thoughts churning up a storm of epic proportions. The way the kids eyes lit up when someone showed they cared, someone showed they were there for them, the same feelings I had been denied at their age. I knew that yesterday had been a turning point for something big in my life as the feelings inside only seemed to be getting stronger, I could help them and others like them.

 I could feel the sense of a new found purpose blooming in my chest, if I could save a kid like Phil had saved me so long ago I would be more than willing to give it a fighting try. The only thing was, was I really ready for that lifetime commitment of being a 'ghost bird'? I had just started a relationship and a none to normal one with 14 boyfriends, could I handle something as important as a job in the Academy? I groaned as my mind whirled at all the possibilities of what could go wrong, I did not need to be thinking of this right now. I was going to be going on a date in a little over an hour, I didn't need a doom and gloom mood hanging around right now. 

I wasn't sure who my date was going to be but I had already had breakfast and taken my shower and was now waiting in the bathroom for Gabe to show up, my mind however would just not shut-up. I took a few deep breaths to try and help calm my thoughts and emotions, it worked slightly but thoughts of the Academy were still coming in waves. I really needed to work out this tension I was having otherwise I might just take it out on one of the guys accidentally, and I really didn't want to do that. "Oy, Trouble I'm coming in!" Gabe called a second before bursting in, not bothering to cover his eyes this time. 

"Hey." I sighed as I smiled weakly to him, internally wincing at the worry and brief flash of pity I saw in his eyes. "I heard you had another nightmare, do you want to talk about it or some sh*t?" Gabe asked as I couldn't help the small but genuine smile at his obvious awkwardness, he wasn't the talking sort of guy but was willing to listen to me if I needed him to. I shook my head softly in answer, giggling a little as he sighed out lightly in relief. I was fine about the nightmare now, it was the insistent thoughts in my mind that were weighing on me now, not that I was going to tell my 'Academy' boys that just yet.