Run Away for my Baby

Chapter 11

Holly

I was in my room, thinking about last night, when Carley burst in crying. "Holly," she cried. "I'm pregnant.”

To say the least, I was shocked. "How did this happen, I thought you only slept with Jake?"

"I did he's the only one I've ever been with. We're not even together. I'm such a slut!"

"No you're not, he's the only one you've ever been with and I know that you've only had sex once."

"What am I going to do Holly?" she cried even more. She sat down on the bed next to me. I wrapped my arms tightly around her. "I can't be a mother."

"Why not?" I asked suddenly concerned.

"Because I don't want to be like my mother. Holly, I never told you about my past because I was afraid that you would leave me."

"Carley I would never leave you, you are my best friend after all. I want to help you."

"My mother... my mother didn't even know I existed.  We lived in the same house but if I ever talked to her she would ignore me, like I wasn't even there. She made dinner for one, so would have to make my own and she'd have parties every weekend, I would hear her having sex with multiple men in one night. Once, one came into my room and tried to touch me. He told me my mother had sold me to him. That was the day I left, I kicked him in the balls and ran for my life. I didn't look back. I can't become my mother."

"You won't Carley.  You've recognized that what your mother did was wrong. You couldn't become her even if you tried."

"Thank you Holly. You are my best friend.”

“So how far along are you?"

"Four months. I don't even have a baby bump yet."

"Yeah I can see... I mean not see." She laughed lightly, she still had tears in her eyes.

“So how are you?" she asked lightly.

"I'm okay I guess. I happy for Ollie that he has a girl to take care of his needs."

"You're not happy."

"No I'm not," I told her truthfully.

"I hate seeing them together. Last night I went to his room, she was naked and his top was on the floor, they were kissing. Hungrily. It broke my heart, “I cried onto her shoulder. “He went back to her after he talked to me. I couldn't sleep last night because he was in my bed after having sex with her."

"Oh god, that's horrible. Have you talked to him about it he might reconsider what he's doing?"

"No I haven't talked to him I can barely look at him."

"Talk to him," she demanded as she exited my bedroom.

I pulled out my laptop from under my bed; I needed to talk to my best guy friend Josh.

I had known Josh since we were babies. We grew up as neighbours playing in each other’s back gardens, having water fights and building tree houses. We told each other everything from who we liked to who had pissed us off. Then three years ago he and his family moved two hours away, we kept in contact over Skype and text regularly. Every summer we would visit each other for a week or two and had a blast.

He was the first one I told when I found out I was pregnant. He was supportive but in the end he wanted me to stay with my family.

'Hey Josh' I typed. 'I just wanted to tell you everything with the baby is okay. However I'm upset because Ollie had sex with his girlfriend then slept in my bed the same night. I hate the thought of him with someone else. I really wish you were here. I miss you. I'll see you soon.'

As I shut down my email Ollie called out from the door. “Who were you emailing?"

I really didn't want to talk to him at that moment but I answered him anyway. "Just Josh."

"Who's Josh,” he asked confused.

"He's my best friend. We have known each other since we were babies." I saw his face turn into a scowl, I knew he was jealous.

"Does he know about the baby?"

"Yeah he does,” I told him truthfully.  "He was the first one I told."

"Oh right," he sighed. "I've got to go."

I watched as he retreated from my room. His shoulders were slumped, I knew how he was feeling, and I was feeling the same.

I laid back on my bed. I looked up at the flat white ceiling, I saw nothing. I wanted it to show me the answers but it didn’t. This was the first day ever that I was feeling like I didn't want to be pregnant or be in love with Ollie. Because I was in love with Ollie and had been for a while but he had broken my heart so many times, I didn't know how to move on.