Run Away for my Baby

Chapter 15

Picture of Carley

Holly

She was gone. She was actually gone. She kept on saying she was going to leave and now she’s gone.

She came to say her final goodbye this morning just after Ollie left with Jamie, tears were running down her face as she came into my room. “Holly I can’t stay!” she cried loudly. “I can’t be a mother to my baby, I can’t be like my mother. I’ve got to go!” she rushed out of my room after quickly hugging me.

I was in shock to say the least, after a moment I chased after her. Before I could reach her she was in the taxi and driving away.  I felt myself crumble to the floor in painful agony. I wrapped my arms around my legs tightly and cried. I cried for Carley, I cried for Jake, I cried for their baby and I even cried for myself.

I felt a small pair of arms wrap around me. “Holly get up off the floor, there’s nothing you can do,” Tom told me lifting me up, despite his size he was strong and I could tell that one day he would fill out and be a handsome man. “You’re not the only one feeling like this, Jake just got the note she left him and he’s broken. You need to see him.”

I scrambled onto my feet after hearing this. I knew Jake would be in a worse position, he had just lost the girl he loved and the mother of his baby. I nodded to Tom and hurried inside to Carley’s old room.

Carley and Jake had been sharing her room since just before the baby was born. It was set up perfectly for them, I knew that was where I would find Jake. I open the door quickly and saw Jake hunched over by the side of the bed, I heard his loud groans and snorts as he cried. His heart was broken.

“Why did she leave me?” he asked me once I pulled him into my arms. “Why…why…why?”

“Because she was scared,” I told him truthfully. “You know about her mother don’t you?”

“I do now, if she just told me before everything between us would have been fine, I could have supported us better, looked after her better.” He rubbed the back of his hand on his eyes to get rid of the streaming tears.

“You have to look after your baby as best as you can now and hope with all your heart that she’s going to come back. I believe that she will, she loves you so much Jake.”

“I know, I love her so much too. I’ll be the best daddy possible.”

“You do that and I’ll be right here for the whole thing and so will Ollie.”

“Thank you Holly, you’re my second best friend after Ollie.” He took a deep breath, “He’s lucky to have you.”

“I’m lucky to have him.”

He suddenly unrolled something from his hand, “This is for you.”

I took the paper out of his hand and left the room. I unfolded the messy paper and read: Dear my love,

I am so sorry I left I love you so much and I love our baby so much. You were my best friend these last couple of months as well as my lover. I know you’ll be a great daddy to our little girl. I can’t be there for you both right now because I don’t want to end out like my mother but then I kind of am for leaving you, abandoning you. Tell my little girl I love her so much and that I hope she grows up well.

Dear my best friend,

I love you Holly, you have been my best friend these last nine and a bit months. With your help I have learned what it’s like to have a real family and I know that if I ever need someone I can come to you. I really hope that you and Ollie get together because you make a cute couple. Plus I know he loves you and that he hasn’t had sex since you’ve been here. I really hope you have a beautiful life. I love you.

Dear my beautiful daughter,

I didn’t leave you because I hated you, I left you because I love you so much. I hope one day when I’m healthy again I will come and see you and tell you why I left in person. I hope you won’t hate me when you learn my past. I plan to write to you every birthday, Christmas, valentines, and whenever I feel like it so you know that I will always love you. You are daddy’s little princess and mommy’s little angel. You saved me. I love you my baby.

I love you all,

Carley.

XXX

I felt tears leak from my eyes and rapid streams. I could barely move, she had really left us but she still loved us. I fell onto my bed and cried for the rest of the day. All I wanted right now was my baby in my arms and tell him that I loved him.

* * * * * * * * * * *

I woke up to someone shaking me. “Wake up sweetheart,” his sexy voice said. “Wake up.”

My eyes slowly opened to face Ollie’s beautiful face, “She’s gone,” I croaked out.

“I know,” he pulled me into his strong arms and squeezed me tightly. “There is nothing you can do now.”

“Don’t ever leave me Ollie, don’t ever leave me.”

“I won’t,” he said looking down at me. His eyes captured mine in a heated gaze, neither of us could turn away. “I won’t,” he whispered again as he lower his head down to me. His lip suddenly caught my in a soft, tender kiss.

A moment later we pulled away from each other knowing what we had done was wrong. His head was facing away from me, "Jamie is in bed. I'll see you tomorrow." He left me suddenly after telling me that.

That was the first time we had kissed in a year and it was beautiful, just like I remembered it. All I wanted to do now was kiss him again and again until he was fully mine. But right now my heart was broken, my best friend had left, my love didn't love me back and and I had no real family apart from Jamie but he was too young to understand what I was going through.

Some how I managed to get myself off the floor and to Jamie's bed. Jamie was awake in his cot and wriggling around, so I decided to pick him up and hold him tightly to my chest. I walked back to my bed and lay down with him against my breasts.

After a little while he started to whine so I fed him with my mike, sure enough he settled. Then so did I with him in my arms.

Through the night I knew that Jamie had been removed from my arms and been replaced my Ollie instead. His arms were wrapped tightly around me and I felt safe in them. I knew that he whispered to me as I slept, he told me that he would be there for me and Jamie.

All I wanted to do now was tell him that I loved him but he was leaving for college in a month, I knew I was losing him.

* * * * * * * *

The next morning when I woke I was snuggled up on Ollie's chest. I was happy for a brief moment before I remembered that Carley had left. Before the tears could leave my eyes Ollie moved from underneath me. "Morning," he groaned.

"Morning," I sighed getting off him. He sat up in bed and stretched his arms. "So where did you go yesterday?"

"Home." I knew he had answered truthfully. "I went home to Mum and Wes. They are happy for me, they said that they would come and visit soon. They love Jamie too."

"That's good," I sighed happily. "I can't wait to meet them."

"Me too." Then suddenly everything changed between the two of us. "Everything is going to different today."

That was the understatement of the century. Everything was different now that Carley wasn't in our lives but we still lived on hoping that she would come back.