Valley Forge (Alexander Hamilton x Reader)

11

     We reached his tent with a few whoops and hollers from fellow soldiers. Their actions made me blush as they have such dirty minds. Alexander disappears into his tent and I follow. Alexander is sitting at his desk across the room and I stand awkwardly in front of him.
     "How's your foot?" He asks shyly breaking the deadly silence. I look down towards my foot and smile.
     "Throbbing," I laugh. Alexander sighs "You need to heal your foot! It seems like you can never rest!"
     "I'm not sorry, I will have my foot injured for the rest of my days if it means I know you are safe," I confess to him.
     "Alaska you are in danger with a foot like that!" He starts as he stands from his desk. He walks up close to me, cupping my face into his large hands.
     "I know but I don't care,"
     "You need to care! If not how will we live our lives together?" His voice is rising and I'm shrinking. His words hit me hard, our...
     "What do you mean 'our'?" I feel my face heat and heart quicken while I wait for his answer.
"You live with me? So our lives," He says calmly.
     "Oh," I breath out.
     "What did you think I meant?" He asks turning away from me.
     "The same thing as you," I say with a frown. I don't want to frown but I can't control myself with Alexander. I have never felt this way. Butterflies every time he smiles or when he talks I can't seem to hear anyone other than him. The way he looks at everything like he must conquer it...but he has never looked at me like that. He looks at me with wide eyes like he is trying to tell me something.
I dream of what he wants to tell me. Like how he loves me but how can he love someone like me. I'm nothing and I don't deserve his love. I don't deserve love in general. Therefore, this look of longing I see from him is only my imagination. I think...
That's when I remembered Eliza Schuyler. The woman he was writing to when I first met him. It seemed so long ago as in I've known him my whole life but I haven't. She is richer and prettier than me. Plus, she can give Alexander the life he needs to rise up, I can't.
     "So how is Eliza?" I ask Alexander breaking my thoughts from him.
"Eliza?" He asks.
     "Schuyler?" I ask again. The last name triggers his memory and he finally understands.
"We got busy and our writings ceased a while ago."
     "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. Anyone else catch your eye?" I ask. He faces turns red when he reply's with "A couple." My heart sinks. He probably has a line of women waiting for him.
     "Like who?" I ask as I swallow back my tears.
     "Well this girl and..."He says as he trails off the last few words.
     "What?" I ask not hearing the rest of his sentence.
     "I said a girl and..." He repeats purposely quieting the last part.
     "A girl and a what?" I ask. "A man?" Alexander stays quiet.
     "Oh my God!"
     "You can't tell anyone! I don't know if I do, I just have this small feeling," He says panicked.
     "Do I know him?" I ask. He stays quiet.
     "So I do know him," I respond.
     "With the guy it's great don't get me wrong but the girl...I can't stop thinking about her. Just being with her gives me this unbearable feeling of nerves and I just want to I don't know...throw up?" He rants changing the topic of the man.
     "Well, she seems great," I say quietly looking away from him.
     "I don't know if I should admit how I feel to her," He says quietly.
     "Trust me I know how you feel," I respond as I wipe a tear from my check.
     "What do you mean?" His voice rising again.
     "Never mind," I shake off.
     "Alaska! I told you my feeling now you must tell me yours," He demands. "Well shit," I think to myself.
     "Well, I just met this guy and ever since I first saw him I just can't stop smiling! He gives me so much without even knowing! I wouldn't be where I am without him. I love him..."I stop. No, I don't love him...I can't.
     "You love him?" He asks with a hurt expression.
     "I have a feeling he has feeling for me too but I-can't ruin everything he has done,"
     "Is it Lafayette?" He asks stepping towards me.
     "What? No," I say as I turn towards him. His face was scorched and I can feel his anger pumping out of him.
     "Hercules?"
"No!"
"Who else is there?" He yells.
     "Alexander! You don't know what you're talking about!" I cry to him.
     "Then who do you love?!" He yells leaving no space between us. His violet-blue eyes were painful to look at. His eyes make me helpless and I can't speak.
"I-I do-n't" I try but tears just fall instead. I close my eyes fast and sharp, trying to not be pulled in by his enchanting trance.
     I open my eyes and I lock with his.
Not thinking I close the small gap between us by pressing my lips against his. He instantly kisses me back and slides his hand down to the low of my back. He tightly holds me and I'm frozen against him.
     I finally break from his grip and run. I can hear him yelling my name but I keep passing soldiers. I don't stop even when I hear Hercules, Lafayette, Alexander, and surprisingly Washington shout my name.
     I'm out of the camp and in the neighboring woods alone. I trip on my swollen foot as I crumble onto the floor. I scream in pain from my foot and also from the pain in my chest. I can't breathe as my tears stream down as I just scream out all my pain over the years. I know they can hear me but I'm paralyzed. My body is shaking and my vocal cords are ripping. I have no idea where I am or how I will get home. I don't even have a home it is Alexander's and I can't stay there.
The world is spinning as I start to feel lightheaded. My head, foot, and heart are throbbing out of control. My vision blurs and the last thing I see is a woman by my side.