It's been almost a week and sadly nothing's changed. I mean, other than my attitude but that's it. He still treats me the same but I don't give him the satisfaction to see me break even more than I already did.
I still wake up, make him breakfast and dinner as well as clean. But , I'm never around anymore.
I wake up , make his breakfast and then his alarm goes off. Yes, I set him an alarm. I can't stand being remotely near him , hense why I sleep in the guest room. Anyway, then I clean and later make his dinner. After that I just go to my room and stay there until I repeat everything the next day.
And no, he hasn't said a word nor made an attempt towards me since that day. Shows how much hé cares.
I just feel so alone, you know... I have no one to talk to nor any way to contact anyone. And I know on the outside I show I don't care or whatever but on the inside I'm still me. Small, fragile, innocent me.
He left probably an hour ago and I just finished cleaning up his mess .
I've been so upset that I've been stress eating, luckily for me he hasn't noticed yet or he would've given me a speech saying how fat I got.
So after cleaning I went and made myself a sandwich with some tomato , cheese and ham. It's not everyone's cup of tea but ,I like it.
Satisfied I sat on the couch and saw Invisible Sister was on, on Disney and decided to watch it.
I ate my sandwich as I burst out crying. "She was your only sister and you turned her invisible. Now how is she going to live her life? " I said to Cleo as if she could hear me.
Clearly things are getting too much and I simply can't handle this tension in the house , that I'm now crying over a movie that's not even sad !
I wiped my eyes and regrouped as I finished watching the rest of the movie.
I picked up all of my dishes from the coffee table, which was now more than just my sandwich plate. Since the beginning of the movie till the end I've eaten a bowl of ice cream, popcorn, brownies and a bag of Cheetos extra. All this stress is eating me up, literly.
*****
As I finished the dishes I looked over at the clock and saw it was already half past five. Shoot ! I forgot to make dinner, luckily for me I had some lasagna that was pre-made I just had to pop it in the oven. So, I did that and while it was busy I went to take a shower to wash all of the ice-cream and Cheetos off of me, 'cause I'm quite a messy eater you can't take me anywhere. Or atleast that's what Xander used say.
Xander...
I started to tear up again at the thought of him.
*****
After my shower I just put some sweats on and my hair in a messy bun.'Cause 1) it's comfortable and 2) I've eaten so much with my stress eating that most of my clothes doesn't fit anymore. Anyway, I rushed down to take out the Lasagna and plate it so I can go back to my room before he gets home. After an emotional and crappy day like today the last thing I want to do is see him.
*Click*
Shoot! That was the front door. I looked around frantically for a hiding spot, because like I said, don't want to see him. I didn't have a lot of time so I crouched down behind the counter waiting for him to go upstairs so I can leave.
"You know I can see you...right?" Ugh, seriously couldn't he just ignored me and just walked past ? But noooooo! He has to be the ass that he is and approach me.
I slowly stood up calmly and put on my poker face as if I wasn't just hiding from him.
"Yeah so ? I wasn't hiding and you have eyes to see so of course you see me if I bent down to pick something up idiot." I said with so much courage and attitude.
"Yeah , whatever can I get my food now ?"
"I ain't your momma go get it yourself." I said as I walked out.
He grabbed my arm roughly as I thought oh here it comes again . I closed my eyes waiting for his fist to make contact as a tear fell down my cheek.
As much I would love to kick his sorry ass like I said I would, I can't. I'm not a violent person (I know ironic since my dad kills people for a living ) and besides I wasn't feeling up to a fight right now.
"Sheesh, wipe your face I'm not going to hurt you. Why you gotta be such a baby are you on your period or something ?" He said as he released my arm and walked back to the counter to eat.
I wiped my eyes as I rememberd something. I ran up to his bathroom hoping it's still there. "Please, please, still be here ." I said as I rummaged through the cabinet until I found it. Am I really going to do this ? I thought as I just stared at it in my hand.
What is in her hand ?
What is she going to do ?
COMMENT and Vote my lovelies. ❤I also just want to encourage all of you to go read courtroses new story it's called Locked and a really good read .
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Unfinished Business
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