Unfinished Business

Chapter 30 like a light

*present *
*Recap*

"You don't know what it's like. You don't know what its like to be raised by someone else because your parents doesnt love you , because they can't stand you . You don't know what it's like , to not know your father or even if you have one until I was 16 . And then suddenly he makes an appearance in your life and you think,  yes this is the moment I've been waiting for my whole life , to get to know my father , to play catch with him and go to football games with him .  Yet to be disappointed because the only reason he ' wants ' you back , is for you to do his dirty work . For you to be treated coldly , as if you're a complete outsider , not even as his son ,his own flesh and blood . And to know that the only reason you exist is to do his dirty work . So don't you dare go around saying I'm a bad father cause I don't know how else to act ! "

My heart just broke . Into a million pieces.  The broken shards ,scattered around the room along with Austin's broken heart . I never knew he went through that . That he never received love and affection.  I feel so bad for blowing up at him now,  but then again because of that , I now have a glimpse into his soul . I don't know what to say ...

"Well , that feeling you're feeling . That feeling you've felt when your father was absent in your life , is what you're making her feel now . You're doing exactly what your father did to you.  Do you really want to be that person Austin?  I know you're a good person deep down and I know you'll never want to be the man your father was to your daughter.  "  I said in a soft whisper tone,  holding his hands in my hands . And surprisingly,  he didn't pull away . He just looked at our hands,  listening as I saw a stray tear fall off his cheek .

*end of recap*

"Why are you being so nice to me ? All I ever did was be rude to you . I kidnapped you , took you from your family , twice , hit you multiple times , I even forcingly made you pregnant for my own selfish reasons , yet you treat me with so much kindness . " He said in a soft whimper .

He was really fragile right now . So broken .

"It's because I guess... I saw the good in you . I saw past the hurtful words and the painful actions you threw my way . I guess I knew deep down that you were a nice person , I just had to find him . "

He wiped his tears and gave me the first sincere smile I've seen since being here .

"Thanks "

I smiled in return.

That was the first time he said something ... nice to me , and ment it .

"So ... what now?  I mean where do we go from here?  "

I saw him shift his eyes uncomfortably and for a second,  just a split second ,I thought that this was only a moment , that the old Austin will make a reappearance. 

"I don't know ... I mean I know I want to make this right . I wish I could start over though and sweep you off your feet , but I guess we're passed that . " he said with a light hearted chuckle .

"Okay ? So ... what does that mean ? What does that mean for me ? " I looked back down scared for his answer .

But , he took my hands this time .

He took my hands in his,  and it felt weird . I fought the urge not to pull away at his alien touch.

"I'm not going to hurt you again , if that's what you're asking . Look , Mia I'm sorry for the way I treated you . I now realise how wrong it was of me ,and i regret it so much now . I don't know where to begin to make this right . How to gain your trust , how to love someone . But,  I'll try . I promise . "

I just gave him a soft smile in return.  You know what they say , seeing is believing.  I'll only start to believe that he really changed when I see it with my own eyes . It's cruel I guess , but I have to protect my heart for my own sake as well as Bella's . I can't expect too much and get hurt again . I just can't. 

"D-did you want to see her ? " I asked mostly because it's the right thing to do I guess , but I silently prayed that his answer would be no .

He fumbled over his words , kind of mumbling to himself before clearing his throat ; "um , thanks but I don't think I'm ready yet . I mean , I don't trust myself around her yet . Give me a few days to get used to the idea and get used to this... this new...attitude of mine . "

"Okay , I understand.  " I replied and then made my way back towards the stairs .

"Mia !" He called behind me
"Yeah ?"
"Wanna have dinner with me ? "

I contemplated on what to answer . I mean I guess I do want to make this work but then again ... I don't know if I can really trust him yet .

Go for it .  A little voice told me , and before I could stop myself I said ; "I'd love to ."

*****
After eating I cleaned up and surprisingly he helped me . I then made my way to the couch , turning on the series I was currently watching , when the couch dipped .

Curiously I turned my head slowly to the side seeing Austin sit next to me with a barrel of popcorn in his hand .

"What are we watching ? " he asked with a mouth full of popcorn,  crunching. 

I hesitated,  a bit taken back . "Um , Everything sucks. "
"Cool . " he replied through a mouth full again .

This was so weird ...
I'm not used to this,  used to being treated like this , by him .

How do I act ? Do I say something back ?

Do I scoot closer ?

Should I reply ?

While I was having an internal battle with myself,  deciding what I should do , he already started the show  where I left off.

He just sat there , so comfortable,  like this was an everyday occurrence,  and not the first time he watched a series with his abused teenage wife .

Nevertheless I pushed those thoughts aside and took a deep breath - calming myself - as I continued watching .

*****
I flutterd my eyes open seeing darkness surround me . I rubbed my eyes as I sat up , recolleting my last thoughts. 

I was watching Everything sucks with Austin . Then he offered me some popcorn . I said no thank you . I watched 3 more episodes.  I yawned .

I must've fallen asleep and by the looks of it , on the couch .

I guess expecting him to carry me up to bed is a lot to ask , considering he only now turned over a new leaf . But atleast he threw a blanket over me , so that's something right? 

I got up and checked up on Bella before going across the hall to my room.  As soon as my head hit the pillow I was out like a light .

That's it for now . What did you think ? Leave me your thoughts in the comment section below ❤❤