Suicidal [Narry/Niam]

Chapter 9

Niall's Pov

I woke up and to my surprise, Liam was still holding me. He was sleeping too. Just like how it was when I woke up that one morning with the hangover. This time, it was 2:00 and all we did was have a cute little nap. My bruises and cuts feel better but not nearly as good as they could feel.

I love sleep to be honest. Its like being dead. But the only nightmare I have is waking up. I dread returning to my daily life. One day, I wont wake up. Im looking forward to the day I can have eternal sleep.

The only thing that brings joy to me is Liam. Without Liam, Id be nothing. Of course I love the other lads. But I wouldn't cuddle or sleep with them. Maybe Louis or Harry. But thats not the point. I don't have much to look forward to in life. Theres so much to handle and too much. Theres too much struggle, social pressures and such. I don't like it. Every morning I wake up, I have to plaster on that smile. I don't want to anymore. But if I crack now, everyone will judge me. No one will want to be friends with me. Besides, I'm in a world alone. I cant let anyone in. If I do, they'll just leave. If you let no one in, no one can leave.

I hear a groan from behind me. Its Liam. He's waking up. He's so cute when he wakes up. He releases his grip from me. He gets up and sits on the edge of the bed and stays there for a moment. His legs dangle and he looks at his shoes.

I break the silence. "Liam. "

"Yeah?"

"I love you. Thanks for being here for me." I hear Liam chuckle.

After a pause which seems to last forever he mumbles "I love you too..."

He gets up and leaves the room, shutting the door behind him. I go on my phone, reading texts and scrolling through my twitter. I do so for about 10 minutes or so.

I leave my room and walk down the hall to only meet eyes with Harry. "Hey Niall. Im going out. Wanna tag along?"

"Sorry. Im just going to spend the day inside."

He pouted. "Niall, youve stayed inside all week unless youre out drinking. Please?" Hes got a point. But Im so sore. I cant.

"Sorry." I tell him.

"Niall whats on your face?"

"What the hell are you talking about?" It came out slightly angrily and it was easy to tell that Harry picked up on it.

"Right there...?" He pointed to my cheek. He was obviously talking about the cut.

"Oh that? I got that from scratching my eye to much." Right after I said it, I knew Harry would never buy it.

"When did you get it?" He continued.

"A couple days ago."

"Then how come I never noticed?" He caught me dead in my tracks. I tried not to stare at him too wide eyed.

A quick paused turned into "Why are you persisting so much!" from me.

"Im just skeptical! Lately I don't think you've been telling the truth." Thats because I haven't. I shot him one of those looks that says 'what the hell do you mean by that.'

"Why cant you trust me for once! You're never believing me! For anything! Do you not trust me? Or is it just your asshole personality kicking in?"

"My asshole personality would kick in if you haven't stolen it and lied about it!"

"I hate you!" I told him. I didn't mean it. But I said it. His eyes look hurt. Like someone he loved just shot him. His facial expressions changed from anger to sadness.

"I just want you to be safe. I couldn't handle life without you. I care about you. I don't know what I would do if you weren't around. Sometimes I persist so I know whats going on. You know, in case I need to help you. I want to be there." He said sadly. His tone of voice changed to add a hint of anger. "Its obvious you don't feel the same." He turned around and walked out the door, slamming it behind him.

Have you ever felt a thousand knifes stab you in the stomach at the same time?

Because I have.