Suicidal [Narry/Niam]

Prologue

???'s Pov:

I reach into the box of cigarettes pulling out one that will soon comfort me. I put it between my teeth and bite down with enough pressure to make sure it doesn't slip out from between my teeth. I dive into my pocket and grab the lighter. I fumble with it for a moment trying to get the top off. Once the top is off, I strike a flame and it shoots up. The flame begins to burn the end of the cigarette creating a smoke within my mouth which I have come to love. I inhale and feel pleasure.

The cigarettes aren't mine. They're Zayns. I stole the pack from him while he was sleeping. So far, he hasn't caught on. The lighter is Zayns too. I've been sneaking a smoke ever since I fell into the depression Im currently in.

The boys are clueless. I haven't told them about my depression. I think Harry suspects something. He's noticed I haven't been eating as much as I used to [which is entirely true]. Management always told me I needed to lose some weight. I wasn't as fit as the other boys. Management gave me these new diet pills. They seem to work great, I've been losing weight.

One night recently, Louis got into a fight with his current girlfriend Eleanor. He decided he just needed to go for a drink. I decided to tag along with him. We went out to the nearest bar that was serving at 3 am. After a couple drinks, I was drunk and so was he. I felt so much better drunk then I did sober. When we got home, he crashed on the couch and so did I. The hangover the next morning was rough. They say you get used to the hangover the more you drink. They were right.

Theres this boy I really love [Yes, Im gay, but only secretly]. He's always been there for me. Through the bad times and the good times, he's always been there and Im thankful for it. The only part I wish I could change, is the crush I have on him. I feel so much safer and happier with him around. I don't think he feels the same way about me though.