Suicidal [Narry/Niam]

Chapter 2

Niall's Pov:

We got home and I decided it was time to take a shower. I usually take showers at night but I felt like I needed the relief of the blade again now. I haven't cut in a couple of days and I miss it. I couldn't wait until tonight.

"Im going upstairs to take a shower Harry."

"Alright. Enjoy your shower." he said kindly.

On the way to the shower I pass Liam. "Hey are you going to take a shower?" He asked.

"Yeah" staring deeply into his eyes.

"Don't take too long Im planning on taking one before going over to Danielle's"

I made my way to my room first. I grabbed the blade from underneath my bed in the metal box. Sweeping the box back under my bed, I grab a towel and go to the shower. I lock the door and turn the shower on. Before stepping in, I take the blade and swipe it across my wrist a couple times along with my upper thigh. They were light enough to heal in a couple days but deep enough to draw blood. I only made a couple. I put the bloody blade on the counter top next to the sink. I look into to the mirror to see a reflection of me looking back. Cringing at what I see, I turn away with tears beginning to come down my face.

After undressing, I take a step into the shower. Hot water runs down my face. I sit down in the shower and let the hot water run through my hair. I hate my body and everything about it. I cant even look in the mirror. No wonder no one likes me. I begin crying. Tears run down my face along with the hot water.

I hear a knock on the door. "Niall, I need to get in there." It was Liam's voice.

I let out a sigh. "I'll be out in a second". I try to refrain from sounding upset.

"Are you alright mate?" Oh shit.

"Yeah. Im fine."

I shut off the running water and step out of the shower. I wipe myself down with a towel. I grab the blade I used for cutting and tuck it into my towel that I wrap around my waist.

I open the door and peek my head out to find Liam in front of the door. I take a step out of the bathroom being careful to make sure he doesn't see my left arm with cuts on it. Keeping it close to my body, I slip passed Liam avoiding eye contact.

"Are your eyes red?"

"Yeah I was smoking a joint in there" still avoiding eye contact. I chuckle and he soon joins in not realizing what I tried to cover up. I walk to my room being careful and avoiding contact with anyone else. I almost ran into Zayn but I quickly got out of the situation.

I step into my room and shut the door. I find a note on my bed. It reads:

"Found this on the table next to the couch where you slept last night. Still not hiding anything? -Harry"

For a moment, I was confused. I picked up the note and underneath it was my head phones. I was tempted to ask Harry what the note meant. But that would mean I would have to have a conversation about whatever I was hiding. For now, I ignored it. Out of my drawer, I pulled out a white long sleeved shirt and a pair of sweatpants. I undid the knot in my towel and put the blade back in the metal box under my bed. I put on my new clothes. I grabbed my phone that was charging on my nightstand.

I step out into the hallway outside my room not paying attention to much. I turn my head to see where I was walking. Immediatly as I do so, I collide with Liam practically falling over him.

"Woah there Ni. I didnt know you liked me like that" he let out a laugh. I followed considering it was slightly awkward for him. I mean, I was fine with being on top of him.

"Sorry man." We then both parted our separate ways.

If only Liam knew how I felt about him. The experience all together left my heart aching. I was upset that I stumbled over him and acted stupid in front of him. At the same time, I was really happy that I got to feel his abs. Im at least 95% sure that I brushed up against his dick too. Either that, or it was his leg. I mean, same size right? I guess the positives outweigh the negatives on this one.

Trying my best to contain myself I walk into back into the living room where I slept earlier.

"Oh Hello". Louis respond. He was on the couch.

"Hey Louis" I responded.

"Harry's looking for you. I think he's in his room".

"Alright Ill go see what hes up to".

I very nervously left the couch and slowly made my way down the hall. I only knew that entering his room would be a death wish. Nothing good would come out of it. Before I reached his room, Liam came out of his room [fully dressed this time].

"Well that was awfully quick" I say brightly.

"Im in a bit of a rush." When he walks passed me he pats me on the back. Rushing out, he's gone before I knew it. I wish he cared about me the same way he cared about Danielle.

Im face to face with Harry's door. It stands in front of me. It looks much scarier and bigger then it actually is. "Wow. The gates of hell look lovely this time of year" I mutter to myself hoping no one would hear.

I turn the knob.