Suicidal [Narry/Niam]

Chapter 20

Niall's Pov:

I wake up in the couch next to Louis who's still passed out. I moan and stretch and look around. The house looks fine for the most part. The other three must be asleep.

I roll over on the couch and pick myself up. I get off the couch. Looking back at Lou, I see him adjust positions on the couch. He spreads across it.

I smell my shirt. It smells of alcohol and sweat. "I need a shower." I tell myself

Leaving the living room where Lou sleeps, I go walk to the shower. On the way, I notice Harry's door opening. A blonde girl emerges from the room. Shes shorter then I am and very pretty. She leaves to go to find the door to leave the house.

"Cutie." She winks at me before walking passed me. I watch her as she walks away.

I peek around the corner into Harry's bedroom. He's lying on his bed passed out and naked. I laugh a bit. He must have had a lot of fun last night. I shut Harry's bedroom door and continue to the bathroom.

Once inside, I lock the door behind me. The hot water begins running and I strip down naked.

Before going into the shower, I take a look at myself in the mirror. Ive lost a little weight. But not enough. The scale tells me I weigh 120 pounds. "Not enough." I whisper to myself. I need to loose more. I'll go on a strict diet. No more carbs. No more fatty foods. Just something healthy and the diet pills. That will do.

Satisfied with my new plan to lose weight, I step into the shower. Sitting down in the shower, I begin to think about last night. I don't remember much considering how drunk I was. I do remember giving the blowjob to Liam though.

It was probably one of the best moments of my life! I cant believe he actually let me too. Maybe he is gay or at least maybe he feels something for me. I cant get my hopes up. He was probably just really horny and drunk. Thats probably it.

But, how great was it to suck his dick! I still cant get over the fact how big it was. I guess 10.2 inches isn't a lie. His dick tasted great. I mean, it was my first but I cant imagine everyones tasting as good. I only wish I could have deep throated it.

After we finished up, I remember him saying something to me. All I remember is him slapping my bum and whispering something like "Next time, lets try more." Or something like that. Im almost certain he said something like that. If he was talking about full on sex, I don't know if I could do that. If I can barely swallow 10 inches, I dont know if I could fit it all [especially because Ive never had a dick in there before]. He would have to go gentle the first time.

I look down during my shower and realized that I got hard thinking about last night.

I grab the shampoo bottle and pour a dab into my hand. I scrub it into my hair thinking about Liam. He's just so cute. I hope he feels the same way about me as I do for him. The water runs through my hair as I was it.

I look down at my arm and my thigh and see the fresh cuts I made recently. I run my fingers over them. The touch of my finger on them causes a sensational pain that I don't hate.

I turn the shower off and step out. I grab the towel on the rack under the window, wrapping it around my waist. Unassumingly, I open the door without looking and step into the hallway.

I bump into Harry. "Sorry lad!" I tell him, quickly scurrying off.

He grabs my wrist and turns it to face him. "Ni. What happened?" His eyes turned from forceful and shocked to gentle and caring.

I took my arm back. "Nothing." I continue to my room without looking back at Harry.

Closing the door to my room, I unwrap the towel from my waist and begin drying my hair. Throwing my towel on my bed, I slip on a white long sleeved shirt from my burrow.

Emerging from my room, I go back to the living room to check on Lou. I walk in and see Louis head on Harry's lap. They're talking to each other. I stand in the doorway looking in on them.

I hear footsteps behind me. Turning around I realize its Liam. "Oh Hey."

"Hey." He scratches the back of his head. "What time is it?" He groans.

"Oh, I don't know." I tell him.

"Some night we had last night." He chuckles and winks at me.

"It sure was fun." I grin.

He leans passed me to peek into the living room. "Harry and Louis look so cute together. Its like they were meant to be!"

Somehow I feel jealous of Harry. Lou is a great guy. He's really cute when he sleeps. When I sleep with him, it feels... right.

I feel safe, protected, warm and just comfortable. Its just nice. I know he's not gay, but I wish I was that close with Lou as Harry is. They're practically a couple. Being close to Liam is just as good though.