Suicidal [Narry/Niam]

Chapter 36

Niall's Pov:

I didnt know what to feel. My stomach has knots in it. Everything about this moment between us kissing is perfect. Im so glad I finally admitted my love for Liam to him. The best part is that he loves me back! Honestly, nothing in my life could compare to this moment ever and nothing will.

Liam pulled our lips away slowly and looked into my eyes lovingly.

"So what now?" I ask him, unsure about the future between us.

"Well. Now that we've finally told each other... I don't know..." He says uncertainly.

"Well... What about Danielle?" I ask.

"Obviously Im going to have to break up with her." He says. "Should I tell her that you and me have a... thing...?"

I don't quite like the fact he called it a "thing". But its better then nothing.

"If you feel comfortable..." I trail off.

There was a brief pause broken by Liam's voice.

"It would be better if I had something to call it." He smiled at me when I looked up.

"Lets call it a relationship." I smiled cheekily.

"Sure thing." He smiled and looked down at my lips. I looked down at his. Before I had time to think of my actions, he pressed his against mine.

"Ow ow!" Me and Liam both shot up and looked towards the doorway. Louis was standing there looking in. Liam was in complete shock not that I was any different.

"Oh...um..." He fumbled.

"Well...hi Lou how are you?" I smiled trying my best to act like nothing happened.

"Don't try and cover up what just happened. I saw it all." He exclaimed.

Liam rushed over to him. "Please don't say anything about this to the other lads."

"They might already know." He said causally.

My heart stopped and I could only imagine how Liam felt. Harry at least knew that I was gay or something along the lines but I didn't tell Zayn at all. Let alone Louis!

"Wh-what?!?" Liam sounded panicked.

"Well its obvious that you two had some sexual tension between you." He said. "You two hid it decently well but nothing you can hide from this guy!" He pointed to himself with his thumbs. "Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if the other boys figured the same."

"I-I have to go." Liam ran out of the room quickly.

Instantly, I became angry and Louis. Why the hell would he go and say something like that! Poor Liam. He's probably extremely upset right now! I tried a bit to hold back my rage but obviously, I couldn't considering what just unfolded.

"What the hell Louis!" I shouted at him.

"What? Im just being truthful." He said in defense.

"Just being truthful?" I retaliated angrily. I moved from where I was standing to in front of him. "Liam probably feels so violated right now and as do I! You made him upset Louis! And now, you're making me upset!" I yelled at him trying not to get Harry or Zayn involved.

"But-" I cut Louis off.

"Get out Louis." I said demandingly.

"Niall." He said sincerely.

"No. Get out you annoying arse and don't come back." I told him angrily.

He backed out of the room and I shut the door rather loudly before locking myself in my room. I got back to my bed and sat on it.

Why the hell would he just come in and ruin a perfectly good moment like that? For once, I felt happy. Is happiness too much to ask? Apparently it is. Finally when something in my life was going right, someone had to fuck it up.

Louis is just getting on every bit of my nerves lately. He was a complete asshole to Harry when they broke up. Poor Harry was devastated. He acts like he doesn't care about Harry and he acts like he never did which pisses me off.

Why the hell did he have to come into my room and just make everything terrible. It would have been better if he wasn't there. He just fucks everything up I guess.

I felt so upset at Louis and just angry at everything. I reached into the drawer next to my bed and pulled out my blade. I needed to feel better. If I cant get the happiness from Liam, I'll get it from this.

I made dashes of cut down my arm, each one deep enough to draw blood and make me feel better. I felt myself feel more calm with each cut I make.

When I finished, I put the blade on my night stand by the lamp. I fished my hand into the drawer that I pulled out my blade from to grab a roll of bandages. Quickly, I wrapped up my arm to let the cuts heal. I pulled my sweatshirt sleeve down over the bandages.

I should check on Liam and make sure he's okay. I stood up off my bed and made my way the door, leaving my room. Down the hall, I walked to Liam's room. His door was shut. I could hear small cries from inside his room.

Each small cry broke my heart into more and more pieces. How the hell could anyone do this to him? He's usually the one to keep everyone together. Most of the time, he's the one making everyone feel great but right now, he's upset.

I opened the door and peeked my head in to look at Liam. He was on top of his bed curled up into a ball.

I tried to speak but I couldn't. Liam needs his alone time and I don't want to ruin that. He's probably really upset and hurt overall.

I want to be there for Liam but he probably doesn't want me there.

I hesitated for a moment before closing the door quietly behind me.