5SOS Preferences

self harm

So before I start, I'm gonna say that you should never ever self harm. I know what you're thinking, "wow 5summerofseconds is such a hypocrite" because yes, I do self harm, so who am I to say not to? But once you start it's so hard to stop, so please don't start. You do not want to go down this road, I promise babes.

|POSSIBLE TRIGGER WARNING|

~self harm~

Michael:

Your closet, your dresser, under your bed, the dirty clothes basket, even your mom's closer. You'd looked everywhere but you couldn't find your purple swimsuit.

Frustrated and tired, you settled for the blue bikini. It was cute and fit you perfectly; the only problem was that it gave a clear view of the scars on your hips.

You were going swimming with Michael and the boys, and you didn't want them to know you cut.

Out of options, you decide to throw shorts on over your swimsuit bottoms, that way nobody could see what you did to yourself.

Michael picked you up soon after you finished getting ready, and even though you had devised a solution for your problem, you were still extremely nervous.

Once at the pool, you strip of your shirt and sandals and tiptoe to the edge of the pool, trying not to burn your feet on the hot concrete.

"Babe, you gonna take your shorts off or not?" Michael called out. Your heart started beating, but your tried to keep your composure.

"Nah, I'll just swim with them on." You stutter.

"It's all good, [Y/N], we're all friends, you don't have to feel insecure with us," Ashton chimed in.

"Okay," you finally sigh. You unbutton your shorts as they all get in the pool, already splashing one another.

You take your sweet time unzipping and slipping the denim off your legs, exposing the tops of your thighs, and the scars on your hips that would be hidden with the other bathing suit.

You sneak into the pool while everyone's distracted by Luke and Calum spitting water on each other and they're turned the other way. Now that the water is altering the view of your scars, you relax.

That is, until Michael wraps his arms around your waist and tosses you over his shoulder. "Mike!" you screech.

You panic as you realize the cuts are pretty much right in front of Michael's face.

You can tell he notices them because he stopped laughing and sat you down in the water again. "[Y/N] can you come inside with me real quick?"

You nod and get out, wrapping your towel around you as soon as you're out, then you follow Mike through the door to the house.

Once the door was shut and y'all were out of view from the pool, Michael tugged at your towel, making you release your grip. Once he could see your legs, he ran his fingers across the scars, some old, some fairly new.

He looked into your eyes and said, "I love you so much, [Y/N]. It gives me life to see you laugh, it gives me butterflies to kiss you, and it gives me pain to see you sad. You're my world and I never, ever want you to do this to yourself again. Ever. Understand? I can help you, baby. You're gonna be okay."

You nod and nuzzle your face in his neck, crying tears you didn't even know were there until you tasted them on your lips.

Luke:

What can you say? You had a bad day and a habit you couldn't kick. So there you were, a blade in your hand and a towel in the other.

"Luke, I'm gonna take a shower," you call across the apartment. It wasn't a complete lie; you would be in the shower, but you wouldn't be washing your hair.