5SOS Preferences

Ashton for @fivesecondsofangels

Dedicated to @fivesecondsofangels (Morgan) because she is so perfect ily!

|POSSIBLE TRIGGER WARNING|

~Ashton imagine~

When you were in a bad mood, pain built up easily until you couldn't take it anymore; one thing would lead to another and you'd fall into the unforgiving grasp of old habits.

So that's exactly what happened tonight and after a more than unenjoyable experience at a party, you were in your bathtub releasing your pain the only way you knew how.

You knew you would regret it in the morning, and you also knew that you could never tell Ashton. Telling Ashton would mean no privacy for you.

You sat in the tub for a while just staring at the peeling yellow wallpaper, knowing that if Ashton walked in right now, he would freak out.

You sighed, beginning to clean up. You didn't like keeping secrets from Ashton but this one was something you could share.

You left the bathroom, double checking the whole room to make sure you left nothing behind to give away the battlefield on your thighs.

You changed into comfy clothes in exchange for the party dress you out on a few hours ago for the party you left early from.

Noting the time -2:08 am- you got into bed and settled in.

Around 3, the door opened, allowing Ashton to come in to the bedroom.

"Babe, did I wake you up?" he whispered.

You nodded groggily, but when he started apologizing, you cut him off with, "No, it's okay, I have to piss anyway."

You got up and went to the bathroom, tiredly just sitting on the toilet even after you were done, too lazy to stand up.

Right before you were about to get up, Ashton opened the door and came to the sink, grabbing his toothbrush and toothpaste.

Utter shock kept you paralyzed in your half asleep state, and you completely missed the fact that your thighs were on full display sporting angry red lines from just a mere hour-ish ago.

Before you could make a move to cover them, Ashton glanced over at you with a toothbrush in his mouth and did a double take.

He dropped the toothbrush in the sink and quickly wiped his mouth on the towel as you pulled your pants up as fast as you could.

His eyes went from tired, to confused, then finally landed on sad as he took your hands in his. His whole face matched the assumed look, as well. Just overall sad and sympathetic.

"Morgan, baby, no. Please don't do this to yourself."

At this point tears were flowing freely down your cheeks. They didn't start with a trickle and slowly grew; no, they were fast and furious from the beginning. {I really shouldn't put this but I can't resist}

"Why, why did you do this?" he asked, his tone pleading.

Fuck it, you thought. You decided then and there that if Ashton was going to know, why hold anything back? So you told him without hesitating.

"I'm not beautiful! I'm not smart enough! I don't have the best body! Shall I go on?" you yelled.

"That's where you're mistaken." His face had taken a determined expression. "You're more beautiful than you could know, you're way smarter than me, and your body is rockin'. Shall I go on?"

You just looked away, trying to ebb the flow of tears.

"Morgan, you're my everything. You're my rock right now. When I'm exhausted from a long day at the studio, you're here to ensure me that it's all worth it. When I see hate from people on twitter, you're here to tell me that I'm better than that. And when I'm just having a horrible day, you're here to make it better just by smiling at me and telling me you love me. Now it's your turn; I have to be your rock now, to tell you you're worth it, that you're better than this habit, and to tell you I love you."

Though the tears were still steadily flowing, they were no longer tears of despair and sadness. They were now tears of complete happiness.

"I love you, Ashton. I love you so fucking much." You hugged him and let him lead to bed and tuck you in, with him snuggling you from behind.

///////////

If you're dealing with self harm and you ever need to talk, I'm right here, I'm going through it, too, so I understand.

Hope this was good!

Thank you so much for 1.4k reads holy shit this is so unreal!

Sorry that it's been a while but I'm on vacations and there's not much wifi :/

Y'all are so amazing with the voting and all the reads, I love you all so much!!