Prompt:Ouma wants CROISSANT. Saihara doesn't give CROISSANT. CROISSANT is now sad cause Ouma no has CROISSANT. This is also script based. Cause I'm bored and I thought it would be fun acting this out.
Characters:
Ouma
Saihara
Amami
Akamatsu
Kiibo
Momota
Shirogane
ACT ONE
(It is 10 AM at OUMA's house. SAIHARA, AMAMI, AKAMATSU, and KIIBO are his friends. Momota is coming over soon. Takes place in a Non Despair AU)
OUMA: Saihara-Chan give me food!
SAIHARA: (walks to OUMA. Grabs OUMA on both shoulders. Shakes OUMA)
HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU? I CANT COOK OUMA-KUN I JUST CAN'T!
AMAMI: (Spreads out OUMA and SAIHARA) Dude just chill alright? Buy some croissants somewhere. There has to be some in HEB right?
AKAMATSU: There's an HEB?
KIIBO: Um... I do not quite get what an HEB is.
OUMA: See here Kiiboy, HEB Grocery Company, LP, also known as HEB Grocery Stores, is an American privately held supermarket chain based in San Antonio, Texas, with more than 350 stores throughout the U.S. state of Texas, as well as in northeast Mexico. The company also operates Central Market, an upscale organic and fine foods retailer. As of 2013, the company has a total revenue surpassing $20 billion (2013). H-E-B ranked No. 15 on Forbes' 2014 list of "America's Largest Private Companies." H-E-B was named Retailer of the Year in 2010 by Progressive Grocer. Supermarket News ranked H-E-B No. 13 in the 2008 "Top 75 North American Food Retailers." Based on 2014 revenues, H-E-B is the twentieth largest retailer in the United States. It donates five percent of pre-tax profits to charity.
SAIHARA: D-did you just read that off from Wikipedia?
OUMA: Yep! Saihara-Chan is so smart!
AMAMI: Do you even trust Wikipedia?
OUMA: Yep! It's very trustworthy. I use it all of the time!
KIIBO: It is?
OUMA: Nope! But seriously Saihara give me some thing to eat!
SAIHARA: (turns to OUMA) Why not go to a fast food restaurant like... burger king?
OUMA: (clears throat)
Burger King Foot Lettuce
The last thing you want in your burger king burger is someone's foot fungus, but as it turns out that might be what you get. A 4channer uploaded a photo anonymously to the site showcasing his feet in a plastic bin of lettuce with the statement, "This is the lettuce you eat at burger king." Admittedly he had shoes on, but that's even worse.
AKAMATSU: Nevermind that idea then Ouma-kun.
OUMA: I'm hungry Saihara-Chan! Just feed me already...
SAIHARA: W-Why me?
OUMA: Because this Supreme Leader orders the detective to do it!
(Bell rings. AKAMATSU gets the door.)
AKAMATSU: Oh hey Momota-
MOMOTA: Where is Ouma?!
AKAMATSU: At the kitchen with Saihara, Kiibo, and Amami trying to-
MOMOTA: Ouma you dickhead!
(MOMOTA's fists are curled. SAIHARA became startled.)
KIIBO: What is a dickhead?
OUMA: Well duh... A dickhead is me! Also he isn't wrong about being a dickhead cause y'know... You are what you eat. (Bows.)
SAIHARA: H-how does that even make sense?
AMAMI: Huh so Ouma is gay after all. Problem solved!
OUMA: Besides, the only dick I would eat is Saihara-Chan's.
I wonder how big that thing is...
SAIHARA: W-what?! W-why would you even-
AKAMATSU: Well that escalated quickly...
AMAMI: Agreed. Though Momota what are you doing here anyways?
MOMOTA: That little brat stole my only delicious croissant from me!
OUMA: It was yummy!
MOMOTA: YOU ATE IT?!
OUMA: Yeah, but I think Saihara-Chan will taste better.
SAIHARA: W-why are we f-friends again?
OUMA: Nishishi~ Saihara looks cute flustered.
SAIHARA: S-stop it...
OUMA: Never!
AMAMI: Aww you guys look cute together
SAIHARA: YOU'RE NOT HELPING ME!
AKAMATSU: Then I'll help! Saihara-kun loves you Ouma-kun! You should feel lucky.
SAIHARA: THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEAN BY HELPING ME THIS TIME!
OUMA: Oh? So my beloved does love me!
SAIHARA: W-wait no you got it wrong!
OUMA: So Saihara-Chan hates me?
SAIHARA: N-no I love you.
KIIBO: Umm Saihara-kun?
SAIHARA: Yes Kiibo do you have anything that will help me?!
KIIBO: (replays a few seconds back) "Oh? So my beloved does love me! W-wait no you got it wrong! So Saihara-Chan hates me? N-no I love you." (stops replay)
SAIHARA: Thanks for helping Kiibo...
KIIBO: You're welcome!
AKAMATSU: Which is it? You love him or you hate him Saihara-kun?
(Everyone stares at SAIHARA.)
SAIHARA: Fine... I love Ouma.
OUMA: Hurray!
SAIHARA: That doesn't mean I love him as a lover though.
OUMA: Damn it!
MOMOTA: So then what does my sidekick think of Ouma?
AMAMI: A friend or a lover?
AKAMATSU: Will we ever find out?!
KIIBO: Find out in the next episode of-
SHIROGANE: ANIME IS LAIFUUUU.
AKAMATSU: Shirogane-san you aren't suppose to be in the script till the other part...
SHIROGANE: Heh... Sorry Akamatsu-san.
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Oumasai Random-Whatever-Comes-To-Mind Oneshots (And Stories) [A YEET]
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